Redefined

Outing! 2011-8-8

2011-08-08T06:45:00.000-07:00

Went out today with Sophia, He Chen, Hui Sze, Luo Wen and Chin Shian! ;D:D
It was so fun haha. Wanted to go KTV, but the latest available slot was so late like at four thirty, so we decided to call it off. The rest of them went home, while me and Sophia went to watch Harry Potter, the last part, since we couldn't catch it before exams. :D
I must say there are some good humor in Harry Potter, and yes, it is my favorite series of books and movies. So rare right, for a critic like me to like things. :D Funny lines:

*Funny Part 1*
Ginny Weasley: [Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Neville have entered the Room of Requirement] Harry!
Harry Potter: Hi there.
[pauses waiting for a response from Ginny, then addresses Hermione]
Ron Weasley: Six months she hadn't see me, it's like I'm a Frankie First Year. I'm only her brother...
Seamus Finnigan: She's got lots of them, but there's only one Harry.
Ron Weasley: Shut up Seamus.

*Funny Part 2*
Flitwick: You do realize we can't keep out You-Know-Who indefinitely.
Minerva McGonagall: That doesn't mean we can't delay him. And his name is Voldemort, so you might as well use it, he's going to try and kill you either way.

*Funny Part 3*
=tense moment where all the professors and mrs weasley were casting the protective enchantments about hogwarts=
McGonagall calls on all the stone statues from the hogwarts building to defend the school with some complicated spell.
McGonagall: -gleeful- I have always wanted to use that spell! :D:D

*Funny Part 4*
Ron: [in Room of Requirement] AHHHHHH! Goyle has set the bloody place on fire!

*Funny Part 5*
Remus Lupin: It is the quality of ones convictions that determines success, not the number of followers.
Kingsley Shacklebolt: Who said that?
Remus Lupin: Me.

*Funny Part 6*
Neville Longbottom: Right then, so what's the plan Harry?
Harry Potter: Okay, there's something we need to find, something hidden here in the castle, and it may help us defeat You-Know-Who.
Neville Longbottom: Right, what is it?
Harry Potter: We don't know.
Dean Thomas: Where is it?
Harry Potter: We don't know that either. I realise that's not much details!?!
Seamus Finnigan: That's no details!!

*Funny Part 8*

Argus Filch: Students out of bed! Students in the corridor!
Minerva McGonagall: They are supposed to be you blithering idiot!
Argus Filch: Oh... Sorry Ma'am.

Wake-up call

2011-05-21T07:33:00.000-07:00

There has been this type of feeling like one is moving around in a dream-like state, or maybe one would call it a trance. Like one has been in this fuzzy state, like...like the mosaic blur effect in photoshop, then suddenly, without warning, someone changes her mind and decides to sharpen the image.

Clarity. Suddenly everything became so clear.

I am not saying clarity is a bad thing. It is not by theory. But the shock of having all the failures and results of your off-handish attitude stacked up so clearly in front of you so suddenly, it's hurting, scary and demoralizing. Like a pauper has always lived thinking she was a princess, then seeing a real princess one day and waking up from her dreams. The shock, the impact of the realization hurts. Badly.

Since the start of my secondary three year, I have not been working hard at all. I don't know why, but I think I am too numb by lethargy and too overworked to think, "Oh, it's time for me to pull up my socks and work properly." I just lived day by day, finishing whatever assignments that are to be due the next day and ignoring those which are not graded. I know it sounds really bad, but that is what the famous word, "prioritizing" is all about. Note that when teachers talk about prioritizing work, they really mean, "do my subject first", which all sums up to some hogwash. But hey, I am not complaining about anything here. I don't have the right to.

I asked myself, have you studied hard enough? Or rather, did you study at all? The answer, as much as I hate to reveal, is sadly, no. I barely studied in the first half of the year, because like I have said all the time, I have lost all my motivation and zest in my work. I don't feel the push nor the drive to actually do something out of my homework and "hand-in" or "graded" list. I just did what I was told to do, mechanically, somewhat with a hint of reluctance, finished off and zonked out. I couldn't see my dreams anymore. I couldn't see the light. I couldn't see anything clearly. I was blinded, and everything was dark, dingy and immensely scary. I was afraid and nervous all the time, wondering each time before a quiz, "Would I be lucky enough this time?" I had been lucky so far, but so they say, Luck won't stay with those who don't try. They were right. Luck deserted me, and now I have nothing left. I am hollow inside from all the disappointment, and more than that, I am afraid that I can no longer stand up.

I must declare before stating my results for CA1 that the level of expectations for everyone is different. I had been satisfied with my result for the first half of the year, because I couldn't see anything clearly, and I had mistook all those sparkles to be light in my tunnel. I was mistaken. They were mere foil reflections of the passing sun. Yes, I didn't get an MSG of 1.00 for CA1. I got 1.17. Look, I am not complaining about not getting 1.00, you know. I am just living in regret knowing that I could have gotten 1.00 and much higher for my other subjects if only I have put in more effort. I live in regret knowing what could have been done but was not done. And I live in regret knowing that these things done cannot be undone. Like a crumpled piece of paper, no matter how it is smoothened, will still have its creases. My results this year...is hard to be recovered.

Strangely, I am not as depressed as I wanted to be. Instead, I am strangely hopeful, optimistic and strong. I picked myself up from the ground, and no matter how I struggle, how I stumble, I won't give up. I will keep going, keep fighting, and I know if I put in the effort, I will do well. Life cannot be a bed of roses. There will be things that knock us down, but we can choose to stand up. Nothing can defeat us if our heart is strong, and we are brave enough to go on. The path in front of me is still unclear, foggy, but I know the fog will clear in due time and I will see my goal. I am kind of glad that CA1 didn't go well, it was a wake-up call for me. Now, however foggy it may be, at least I am not blinded. Should my eyes be unable to see, my heart will lead me to my goals.

I am not afraid.
I know I can do this.

Secondary Three

2011-04-12T20:35:00.001-07:00

I think, my immunity is getting weaker and weaker now that I am sec three. I am lacking sleep and everything. Like I said, we have a miserable life. Those people who went to the so called better classes have changed so much, and yes, I am saying so because I don't like the way they have become. They think they are so much busier than us...when that's not the case. Everyone is busy, in their own ways, you can't compare it this way. And, you really got to know, we chose not to go to those talent programmes, not that we can't get in, so why are you behaving like you are so much better than everyone else? Like, okay, I know you are smart, but no point keep hogging on it.

And no, this is not inferiority complex.

This is because you are behaving like... you are so almighty I can't stand it. I don't know. I don't know really.

There is no customs that can be kept forever,
One day, one person shall make the change.
This is the year where changes shall be made.

If this is what we call giving up...

2011-01-19T07:12:00.000-08:00

You know, I am really supposed to be doing my work now. There is so much homework and commitments that I feel like I am a gambler holding too many cards, and at any moment, the cards may just explode right out of my hands, and causes me to lose control of everything. This moody, there's-nothing-I-want-to-do feeling has been stuck fast on me for the entire day, and no matter how hard I try, I can't get rid of it. I have somehow, lost my motivation to work hard. Amazing isn't it? I'm in awe too.

You know, at times like this, I wish I could simply pause the time for a while, then go to my bed, hide under my blanket, to sleep or to cry, I am fine with either. To actually show some emotions that I have been keeping in check all this while. To let it out, my frustration or my anger. To feel that I am really a human and not just Ying Ying-has-to-finish-her-homework-today-or-she-will-complain-the-whole-day. This mechanical, emotionless, joyless, numbed feeling... is it normal? Is it me? I asked the questions, but I have no answers for them.

The projects and commitments and homework are really starting to take their toll on me. No matter how I assured Mum, and myself at the same time, that everything is going to be fine, there is this little "voice" at the back of my head, questioning me, doubting my words. Perhaps Voice knows me better than I know myself. Perhaps Voice is right--I am going in a downward spiral. Sometimes, just sometimes, I want to cry. But crying will waste time. And my eyes will hurt later and I won't be able to read. And most importantly, crying does not solve the problems. Hence Ying Ying shall not cry, not today, not tomorrow, not forever.

Really, I will work hard. I will do my homework, put in effort in Science Mentorship Programme, study hard for Biomedical Olympiad, and be a good monitor who does not bring the class to "extinction". And I will do my part for all the SIAs especially LA which is so tough and hard to do. I will be good.

Here she slips away,
Quiet and silent as the night shroud,
Leaving no movement in her wake.
The deafening silence of the night
dragged on,
and on, till the break of dawn.

2010-10-04T20:28:00.001-07:00

6 more days to EOYS.
I am barely through a quarter of my revision.
Ying Ying, you are so dead.

2010-09-24T20:58:00.001-07:00

ONLY 16 MORE DAYS TO END OF YEARS!!! I AM GOING TO DIEEEEE!!!!

Block Test 2

2010-07-29T09:35:00.002-07:00

Block Test 2 is fast descending, and the whole point is that I am barely a quarter through my revision. -depressed look- I must work harder. Animal Farm much.

I think I am most likely to be going to MSTP, but HP interest me too, kind of. I am starting to like humans. :D So I am really not that sure. I think I am taking CLEP for Chinese Culture. Best choice for me, I think?

Anyway, I have been quite busy recently, but mostly I have to blame myself because I really skive off my studies quite a lot. By the way I have good news and bad news: the good one is, our debate team for chinese is top three in the level, the bad news is that we are the third and not the first. Sighs. I think I would be so much more in bliss should we be the top. You know, "Everything must be perfect."

And I didn't manage to perfect all my quizzes, as in, yes they are all full marks for this term, but they are "excellent" not "perfect", since either the bonus saves me or I don't know how to solve it. But I shall keep these complaints to myself and my blog which no one reads, since 10 is really quite good, I think? I will work harder though.

Biotechnology Fair is on 11th, 12th August, and I am looking forward to it, (with open arms). I am kind of excited. :) Really. Anyway, I want to do well for this. :D YAY!

I am wasting my time blogging. Shall go revise now. Nights! ^.^

Block Test 2

2010-07-29T09:35:00.001-07:00

Combined Sports Meet 2010

2010-05-14T01:03:00.000-07:00

CSM today was totally awesome! Twice as goood as last year, I can assure anyone.

Firstly in the morning I woke up ten minutes behind time, even though was supposed to see Jia Wen followed by Jeremy. In the end Jia Wen and Jacyln Chong got so mad at me that they were spiky and irritable all morning. Pretty sad, because I could have hanged out with them all day, but in the ned I went around with Wan Xin first, then went for debate practice with Huiting and Ting Ting, followed by random Malay cheering session with 213.

For the entire morning I was like trying to kepp cool, because my fringe gets all screwed up when I sweat, but the moment the sun starts glaring down from high, my sweat just well broke out simultaneously and within seconds, tadaa! Screwed fringe. Told myself I didn't care, but well, I seriously do.

Following that, I discussed Drama with Huiting, who seriously put me off with her complaints. Like come on, you don't do anything, then I pick out the script, and she is complaining about having too little lines, and that I dominate the whole script. I didn't mind exchanging, but this means that we have to spend more time to feel the character again. :( -cancels sarcastic comment-

Walked around with Wanxin. We were like commenting on everything, from the boys to the trucks and the toilets and the stores. And we saw Si En, Kevin Tan, Ching Leon, and I wanted to go over to greet them, but Wan Xin dragged me away and she was covering up her face. Oh come on. They are like our classmates for 3 years!

Later on we were scouting around and being lame, when Ting Ting said have to go see Zhen Lao Shi. Like everyone enjoying the sports meet, and we are in a corner, debating. O.o" So horribly inappropriate, but sacrifices are needed to achieve the greater good. -pious feel-

Throughout almost the whole sports meet I was like texting people. I think I send almost 30++ smses. And LG phone is extremely inconvenient. Oh and I was supposed to see Jeremy, but being the shy and demure and wonderful introvert I am, I didn't go over. In the end he came round, but he cannot recognize. (poor thing, and no I am not sarcastic) and two thirteen was happy to shout my name loudly, as a form of sabotaging, but in their eyes, they were really being a helpful bunch of people. I am really going to miss two thirteen next year. We should continue eating together during lunch. Ok. But I am not going to go into the details, ok maybe I should, lest I forget our bond.

Basically, it was rather embarrassing, since he was just like behind, yet he cannot recognise me, so 213-ers were like "yingying's dad!"At which I promptly walked away. And I was trying in vain to focus on my debate, which is so horrible, because they won't listen. And I was halfway through reading when I realised all 213ers were gone. At that, I was so frustrated that I stood there yelling, "Come back lar, all of you. Stop cutting me off halfway, why am I the only one that cares about the debate? I want to crush this and throw---" (well, you know the rest)

Oh then we were cheering!! <3 cheering. But now my throat hurts. We were doing Lishuen, Xuanli and my cheer, which is DAMN AWESOME but is actually a song. -.- but we got an encore. :D

Horizon

2010-05-11T03:40:00.000-07:00

I told myself to get a life. Not as though I would spend the rest of my life on the both of them.

And yes, both indeed.

First and foremost, I need to learn to accept my failures. That is really important. Just because I can surpass some people in primary school does not mean the same now. times change, people do too. Learn to grow, to overcome, to defeat.

And the other party. Stop spending so much time on. Everything is just a game.

Yesterday is a history, Today is a present, Tomorrow is a mystery.

Mianhada

2010-04-19T01:04:00.000-07:00

I am too hurt to let it show.
I am more hurt than what I let show.

Last Straw

2010-02-27T21:41:00.000-08:00

You know you are in the worng, and yet you continue doing what you have done wrong. It obviously is not my fault, and yet you are venting out your anger on me.
I didn't do anything wrong, but you can scream shout yell and fume at me because you know clearly that even if you did so, even if I was hurt, even if I was angry, I would not ignore you.
But this time, it is the last straw.

All the mistakes were hers yet all the punishment fell on me.
I dare not request for justice because there is none in this society.
I will try to tolerate you unresonableness, but you have to be aware that I have a limit.
If you cross that limit, I will never forgive you again.

It was clear that you cannot vent your anger at the person who done wrong since she was your client, and you needed the money.
That is really very normal till you started yelling at me.
I know you need somewhere to vent out your exasperation, but why make it me?

I was not in the wrong, I did nothing to worth it. And this is not the first time you have done this to me.
This time, I am no longer going to tolerate it.
All the hurting words you huled at me,
you forget once you got over it.
But your target here bears all the wound, and she prays that you will see.
She may not show that she is hurt, for she is not a fool who wears her heart on her sleeve.
She also realises that you are nicer to your clients, than you are to her.
She sees it, registers it, hates it, but there is nothing she can do about it.
She wonders many nights in bed why adults are so obssessed over money.
Aren't there more precious thing, for you and I to appreciate, to see?

Adults measure everything in monetary terms, in academic terms.
Why can't you just treat me as me, and not someone who results?
You think that money is everything--maybe it is, but what about the other things?
About love and relationships and concern and care and health and feelings?
O, pray that somehow you will be able to see.

Your clients who pay you, you happily serve.
Your daughter who needs you, you do it out of love.
For she has no penny, no pound no bucks, to buy some little time from you,
to have you aid her in algebra, trigonometry and calculus.

Have you ever stopped pause and think, about how is your child today?
Is she tired, has she complained, that she is feeling sore or down today?
She may not have complained, but she is still feeling down.
Are you there for her, when you needs you the most?
Sometimes, the anser just fails me.

I would like to boast, to everyone around,
That I have caring parents who is there when I am down,
Who loves me unconditionally, who suppoets me as well.
But some parts are not true, and I don't want to lie.

That day during training, when I nearly threw up halfway during shooting,
I called you thirty times some.
You did not pick up the home phone, and the cell phone too as well.
You can guess her exasperation, as she trudge home herself.
She did not mention this, but for sure she will remember.

~.Heartbreak.~

Je Ne Comprends Pas Le Revenge

2010-02-24T16:12:00.000-08:00

O Kfin eIkno wit's lik ebro ken french, b uti don 'tre ally care. The yare b eingpi gs,eve ryon eof them. G odie.

Choices And Decision

2010-02-22T16:28:00.000-08:00

Yes I am very disconcerted and perplexed.

As you all know, for sec three, we have to choose what programme we want.

I seriously like want to go to 301, you know, the math and science class, but my mum strongly objects to it. O.O" Something new eh? She wants me to go to BSP. BSP.

BSP, people, listen up.

I might as well go for HP. =.=

Actually I like HP, but I don't like humanities. I just want to study english licterature, LIKE I LOVE LICTERATURE. But I just can't stand the sight of humanities. *shudder* My humanities are bullshit.

As for maths and science, I am totally utterly addicted to it, or I deluded myself into thinking that way. But I am hundred percent sur that I love triple science. I love physics too. But it has no link to my career, so I am seriously not sure.

Why can't there be a choice that allows me to take pure licterature and pure science and pure math? Then my brain will be purer too. Not with all the hate and resentment.

Oh to the love of all that's holy.

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. And by the way there are a lot of wu chun-imposters on facebook. Irritating load of people, trying to impersonate people. And they are not even convincing. Poor english language-- wu chun's english confirm not so poor, since I read his blog. But I still think my standard higher. :D Omg, being egotistical.

Till next time, this is farewell.

Boulevard Of Broken Dreams

2010-02-08T03:22:00.000-08:00

I know I have yet to post in a really long time, but basically I am so goddamned busy recently that I barely get a chance to think my life through. I never get a chance to think about all the things that I do and the words that I say, and they just come out of me without me realising. I guess I have hurt people tonnes, too.

I think life is sad, in the sense that not everything progress the way you wants it too. There are always things that are out of your control and you can only go with the flow. I am idealess wbout where fate would take me, but I would try my best to destined my fate to the very best.

Sometimes I seriously wish I have more control over more events, but since I am not given the control, there would be no point in pursuig it any longer. And things change, so do people, so do time. Like today, right now, it is 7.25 pm of 8th Feburary 2010, it would never go back to the same time ever again. It just slips away, whether you want it or not, and I think that the most important thing is just to treasure whatever we have- who knows where it might go one day?

I want to thank all my classmates, Jiawen and Jaclyn especially for the continuous support you have given me since last year, and this year when I was in a dilemma over my cca. I have cried over it, but don't worry, I will never cry over it again, because my eyes are dry from crying and there are no more tears left. I am thoroughly disappointed in the place where I used to pin all my hopes on. I used to think that everything will become fine once I stepped into it, but ever since the XZ thing, I guess, everything has taken a turn for the worse. I might I have been falsely accused and 'maligned' and it has hurt me in a way that no one could imagine. Just imagine one day you realise your mum betrayed you!! That was pretty much the same for me. I know I was given a chance to defend myself and relate my point of view, but I didn't feel like going at lengths to defend myself and go aorund saying, "Seriously, coach blah blah blah, I blah blah blah, this is all a misunderstanding!" If you want to misunderstand me like someone did, then just go ahead and misunderstand. I am not going to spend my time explaining- I have more than enough things that requires my attention. It is like, misunderstand then misunderstand lor, so long as you are not guilty that you pushed the blame to someone who is innocent, so long as you can live with it, I am okay.

It's your choice. You do what you want to do. - Mr Nick Ng

I can take it lying down once, but never twice.
Did I ever say history repeats itself?

Yeah and the same thing happened again this year.

For the first week, I went cca once, then the second week onwards, I all but went twice. When the record came down, It showed that I went only one for three weeks.

WTF? I got a talking to from Mrs Amy:).

Confused, I spoke to the coach, thinking that she made a small mistake. When she insisted I went once, I was very annoyed and hurt. She even demanded alibis, which I promptly brought her. She remained nonchalant and said, let's talk about it some other day.

Hello? My attendance rate is at stake!!!?!?

Besides that, my homework is increasing in its amounts everyday. I have no time to committ to whatesoever shooting-fire your passion. Any passion that I have would have been doused beyond normal imagination. My heartached, but will never ache again. And I think my studies are more of a priority, so in case you think otherwise, Let me tell you that I am not petty, I didnt transferr because of the two incidents. I transfer as I want to focus on my studies.

Oh well, point gotten, no point elaborating. If you are interested in my private life, feel free to ask me when I am eating. Otherwise I am busy. :O

Oh well. Thats all. ttyl then. :D

Sec Two

2010-01-17T01:59:00.001-08:00

So long never post already, and I really dont feel like posting since I am really busy. But one thing I have to boast about is that my streetball training is going really very well!! :D:D Cheers! And somemore we are doing basketball this year. I still prefer streetball though. :D

2010-01-12T16:20:00.001-08:00

HUITING IS DAMN ANNOYING!!!

Basketball

2009-12-28T01:22:00.000-08:00

Today must have been the so-called happiest day of my holiday. Number one is because I think I shot pretty well, since like eight of my shots were linked together, like smiley face. Ooo and I managed to train a bit on my basketball skills and can finally dribble to my legs, though I still can't quite catch the ball, since the ball is much much bigger than my hand. Not trying to say my hand is small, but if you watch Hotshot you will realise that the basketballers' hands are damn big, considering that they can hold the ball with the hand on the side. Take Jerry Yan and Wu Chun for example, they can simply like clutch the ball? And I am dead impressed with the basketball skills that Wu Chun displayed in many areas. Like Christ! How do you dribble the ball through the legs so easily? {long legs, obviously(-.-)} And I seriously have to train hard. Oh, the good thing is that I can get most of my shots in now and it is not so embarassing anymore. Oh well M.P. in the making. You soon will not see the real me anymore.

I am still trying hard to do the rocker's drill, but basically what can you expect out of a person like me? But anyways, I am putting in my utmost effort, because I know in the end it is worth it. I really need to work on my vertical jump. And man how I wish I can be five cm taller! If I am one-six-eight I will be the happiest person on earth! Know why? If I add another three centimeters from my sports shoes, than plus my training in vertical jump, then I might be tall enough to reach the basketball hoop and do a dunk. But sadly I am the short person I am. Oh oh and later on still have M.E. tuition. -Groans- (zi tao ku chi) Shakes head at myself. I seriously want to practice basketball, but then yi xien is not around adn none of the others want to play. As for coach, I don't think she approves of me playing before training since I will sweat my head off and "catch a cold" from the air con in the shooting range. CHRIST. I guess she is just concerned. Oh and I think my shooting improved dramatically ever since I started playing basketball and I am really pleased with it. :D:D

That's all for now. I guess. Until next time, see you.

Basketball

2009-12-14T06:05:00.001-08:00

During basketball practice just now, I threw the ball against the wall and it was suppose to fly and I was suppose to catch it and make a dunk, but somehow my angle was wrong and so was the speed of my turn. I turned just in time for the ball to smash into the right side of my face. Now it is bruised, bleeding and is going to black and purple soon. Tear drops.I am so frustrated sia. But someday, I will conquer the ball. Somehow.

Numb

2009-10-01T05:55:00.000-07:00

There are three good news today that I would like to share. But miraculously, I don't feel happy at all. In fact I feel nothing. Too numb.

First of all, I was stunned that the chinese compo which I wrote during the time trial, the one which I did not manage to complete on time, actually scored 52/70! What a shock. I mean, the teacher probably thought I have completed, but it seems pretty absurd to me that she didn't see the way my compo ended abruptly.

Secondly, I am shocked to announce that the mentally retarded me actually scored a wonderful 18/20 for my english comprehension. But the funny hing is, till now, I can't feel a single ounce of joy in that, and when Etsuko broke the news to me, I just felt bewildered. My response to her was, "Oh really ah... I see."

Thirdly, opposite to what I assume, five marks were added to my patchwork four, so instead of a low 35/50, I scored 40! LOL. I was actually telling myself that I will be okay with 35 as well, since I have decided to lt go and simply let bygones be bygones. Emoing would not bring them back-- we can only treasure what has yet to come. But anyway, the unexpected increase pleased me immensely.

However, the point here is that, I feel no joy at all in all of the above areas. Contrary to my beliefs, I feel depressed instead and the stress is greater than ever. I am going to work harder and work smarter in ...basketball! WAHAHAH! Inside joke, inside joke. :D

I don't give a damn, really.

2009-10-01T05:47:00.000-07:00

Oh yeah, she and I fell out. That's the story. Awesome, isn't it? Absolutely.

Not.

Whatever.

Look here, I didn't do anything wrong and I am so not going to apologise this time round, seriously. Who do you think you are? You are so arrogant and so vainglorious that you fail to see all the faults in yourself, and I have been tolerating you way too long, far beyond my usual patience. And I am not going to use my vulgarities here since it is a bad habit which I am trying to change. And yeah, most of the vulgarities sound to nice for you. Really. But here is just one simple line for you,

If you sre not satisfied with me, just turn around and go fuck yourself, bitch.

And that's all for you. You are not worth my time, since I have more important stuff to do and you are not one of them really. I rather go recite the four hundred functions of the liver than to stay here and crap about you.

Am I upset?

Absolutely!

Why won't I be? In fact, I have to congratulate you that you are one of the first people that can actually bring disturbance to the very calm me. COngratulations! And for that I present you the trophy and the title of a ***** and byebye, end of story.

Sterotyping/ generalising/ poor english

2009-09-30T04:35:00.000-07:00

I think I will like to talk about the importance of not generalising and not sterotyping today. It has been on my mind for a period of time and I think I would like to share my view points on it.

First and foremost, the defination of steorotyping means to have a certain idea about a group of people, which will result in your future actions and behaviour towards them. It is, in my opinion, pretty sad, since everyone is different in their own ways, and though they may be in the same group, they do not necessarily have to behave or have the same level of any form of intelligence that one might assume that the person might have. Once you have sterotyped, you would be expecting a lot of potential from the person and that is frankly said, pathetic.

Hence, I will like to bring my point on how totally utterly pathetic (sorry for the coarse languange), to steorotype our class one-thirteen, just because we are so-called the GEP. Being GEP does not mean that we are some kind of people with an astounding IQ level and poor EQ level. And also, the fact that some of us are GEP does not mean that EVERYONE is GEP and you should not expect the same amount of intelligence from us, since we are just normal children, as normal as any thirteen year old can be. Apart from that, we are also not homework machines, and let us just go straight to the point, quit giving us so much homework and expect us to finish everything and to know all the concepts of the things that came in the past, past meaning goodness-knows-how-many months ago syllabus. In summary, we have a total of five chinese paper (which the teacher insisted for us to do but never go through), five maths paper, three of which is loaded with problem sums, two history papers, a stack of english comprehension(most of which we have done and the teacher promptly forgot about, and also do allow me to add in the fact that none of these has actually been carefully marked, I understand the lethargy of the teacher, but do think in our shoes too. If we put in the effort to do the work, then pray do go through more detailedly, instead of plain one-word answers that leave us in a blanket of bewilderment. However, to be fair, I must point out that the unseen proses are being gone through very well and in great detail, though I would like to make the suggestion that either we are given more time to jot down the many main points and evidences, or would thy be kind enough to give us a copy of the answer each? Knowing what to write about and the main points are just not enough, since without the answer to aid us in our revision for the coming examinations, it is as good as just breezing through everything. I am not certain if my IQ is exceptionally low, which I definately hope not, or is it that the explanation is not quite sufficient, I always leave the class after the period feeling coinfused and disoriented, and sad to say, vastly dissatisfied with myself and what I have learnt during the lesson. While it may be true that the lessons are extremely well rehearsed and most clear, I feel that further examples and more time given would be highly appreciated so as to let the not very intelligent me digest what has been said during the lesson.) Apart from that, we are also "well-rounded" in our homework requirements and that brings us to the quite reasonable amount of geography homework that we are given. Unfortunately, the point here is not just about one piece of geography or one piece of homework that we have which tires us out-- in fact it is the continuous burden of homework for various subject that loads us down immensely. All of these will bring us back to my point of sterotyping, since I am sure that you do know that completeion of such a great amount of homework within such a ridiculously short period of time will prove to be a difficult task. Also with the the shadowm of the coming exam, revision is much needed, and the precious time is well sought after.

Think people, think.

I am extremely aware that such homework is important and beneficial in aiding us towards the learning and practising of more fields in a subject, but time constrains fail to let us see its uses fully, since afterall, revision before examination is our top priority and there is no point in doing so much work if you are not going to revise.

With all of the mentioned point, I shall end my speech. Thank you and have a nice work-less day. When that happens, I will be pleased to inform you that you have reached Utopia or El Dorado, since a day without homework seems like science fiction to me.

2009-09-29T07:19:00.000-07:00

Yang Long is one hundred percent, absolutely, wonderfully retarded. And the most irritating geek I have come across. Oh my heaven what have I done to come across such a person? I am not going to go into the details since it will probably make me madder, yeah and since I have an EOY to prepare for, no point in getting me worked up all over a person with the IQ and EQ of -100. Yeah, he is basically, let’s just be frank, a freak.

Oh I know he will see this, in fact I hope that he will see this and finally become aware that he is not as smart as he gives himself credit for. That guy has too high an opinion of himself and criticism simply bounces off him. Wtf, well look, listen to me and you better listen good. You think that you are oh so great and so humorous and wonderful in your self-assumed funny speeches, but you are quite the opposite. You are quite the opposite of witty and humorous, and all your jokes only come about when you are making fun of someone in way or another. Your language is totally utterly obnoxious and unacceptable, far from cool.

At the same temperature, a lighter particle moves more quickly than heavier molecule.
I may be sorry that I have to spam all this now, but yeah well let the sorry come later and I don’t give a darn now. You may have helped in any sense in any way in any thought, but yeah I THANK YOU FOR YOUR KINDNESS. Very kind. And that I mean it. But your attitude later on is totally utterly crap.
That’s my dedication for you, crap.

Another cut, another slash, how much more can I take?

2009-09-23T04:10:00.000-07:00

How much did you get for your chem?
It sucked, I dun wanna talk about it.

This time as well.
Another disappoint, another cut, another failure.
Another cut, another slash.
Another day full of sighs and tears.

How much more can I take?

The fact this time is that I did study for it, and I still did not do well. Still got the same crap result, still had that same sinking wave of disappointment sweeping me out into the vast sea of sorrow.

Again.

How many more'agains' will there be? Or can I guarantee that this is the last time?

Doubt.
Fear.
Grieve.

I worked hard, so where is my fruits?

"Her effort bore no fruits."

Why must this apply on me of all people? What have I done wrong to deserve this? Why? Why?

I am such a failure. Epic failure. My hopes are quashed, my dreams are doused, my aspirations down the drain.

Melodramatic.

I agree, absolutely.

And so she came in with the results, I was not expecting full marks, but just 39. Am I asking a lot? Yeah, obviously I am. Coz I only scored a lovely score of 37/40.

A round of applause.

Not.

I could feel the knotting in my stomach as I read my score, felt the harsh wave of disappointment sinking in, feel myself going numb once more.

Once more.

Felt the pain of the despicable score again. Feel the sense of failure. Feel the sense of emptiness.

I ceased to exist.

My breath were shortening,
As my tears threatened to overflow,
My heart twisting,
knotting,
breaking.
My poor mutilated heart,
is pained once again.

I am standing in the centre of a forest,
So vast and so wide,
With no edge for me to see.
I feel numb,
As confusion dominated my body.
Wanted to feel the pain,
But the pain fail me too,
Wanted the tears,
but they were reined in by my pride.

So confused and disoriented,
About what is the next step I should take,
Unsure of my next move,
Uncertain what to do.
Knowing that is my capacity,
whom am I trying to fool?

I am a sailing this ship,
In an ocean all alone,
without the compass, with navigation.
I wandered for nights and days to go.
The tears, I wish they will just flow,
At least they can wet my dry eyes,
clear them, help me to see.
But the tears have long dried,
and I am left all alone.
One day two day three day,
I am still lost in that sea,
praying for the miracle,
Searching for help in vain.

I want to give up, or I already have.
Am I a fool, foolish or fooling?
The answer abandoned me,
And my sanity yearns to do the same.
I waited to see the rainbow,
the pot of gold at the end of the bridge.
But this aint a fairytale,
Let us face the cruelty
Of the truth that we can't deny,
of the pain that we can't define.

Everything is crumbling to pieces,
My hope,
My aspiration,
My dream.
I picked up their ashes in my hand,
But a gust of wind blew it away.
The wind sang in my ears,
A song so beautiful and so sad.
Telling me to let bygones be bygones,
For what have been done cannot be changed.
To let go of my pain,
And something I will gain.
And to see the silver lining behind
That dark storm cloud of shame.

She told me,
Someday will I succeed.
I could feel the skeptism,
The doubt,
The fear in my silence.
She told me that I am free
To think whatever way I want,
But the best way is to stay positive.

I dont feel like writing the poem anymore. It is impromptu, but it is how i feel.

Get it back

2009-09-19T07:39:00.001-07:00

COZ I HAVE LOST IT ONCE AND I AM GETTING IT BACK THIS TIME.

The Way I Are

2009-09-19T01:13:00.000-07:00

[Verse 1: Timbaland]
I ain't got no money
I ain't got no car to take you on a date
I can't even buy you flowers
But together we can be the perfect soul mates
Talk to me girl

[Bridge: Keri Hilson]
Baby, it's alright, now you ain't gotta floss for me
If we go there, you can still touch my love, it's free
We can work without the perks, just you and me
Thug it out 'til we get it right

[Chorus: Keri Hilson & (Timbaland)]
Baby if you strip, you could get a tip
'Cause I like you just the way you are
I'm about to strip and I want it quick
Can you handle me the way I are?
I don't need the cheese or the car keys
Boy I like you just the way you are
And let me see ya strip, you could get a tip
'Cause I like

[Verse 2: Timbaland]
I ain't got no Visa
I ain't got no Red American Express
We can't go nowhere exotic
It don't matter 'cause I'm the one that loves you best
Talk to me girl

[Bridge 2: Keri Hilson]
Baby, it's alright, now you ain't gotta floss for me
If we go there, you can still touch my love, it's free
We can work without the perks, just you and me
Thug it out 'til we get it right

[Chorus: Keri Hilson & (Timbaland)]
Baby if you strip, you could get a tip
'Cause I like you just the way you are
I'm about to strip and I want it quick
Can you handle me the way I are?
I don't need the cheese or the car keys
Boy I like you just the way you are
And let me see ya strip, you could get a tip
'Cause I like you just the way you are

[Verse 3: D.O.E.]
Baby girl
I don't got a huge ol' house
I rent a room in a house
Listen baby girl
I ain't got a motorboat but I can float ya boat
So listen baby girl
Once you get a dose of D.O.E.
You gon' want some mo'
So listen baby girl
When I make it I want you back
Want you back, yeah

2009-09-12T02:27:00.000-07:00

17:24:34I say: OKAy

17:24:37I say: you all talk

17:24:41I say: i do my bio

17:24:47[In Soviet Russia, cakes eat you!] says: BIO WANTS YOU

17:24:59[In Soviet Russia, cakes eat you!] says: TONIGHT.

17:25:05I say: FINE

17:25:20[In Soviet Russia, cakes eat you!] says: HI, JARRYL.

17:25:27jarryl, 83281420 says: hello

17:25:35[In Soviet Russia, cakes eat you!] says: YES, HELLO.

17:25:41[In Soviet Russia, cakes eat you!] says: HAVE YOU BEEN TO RUSSIA?

17:25:49jarryl, 83281420 says: no

HAHA OMGOSH RIDICULOUS.

Pain, unexpressed.

2009-08-19T06:39:00.000-07:00

And I was filled with regret.

I regretted my complacency, my over confidence, my ego... my everything which caused my downfall in biology.

My so called best subject.

So what if I achieved perfect scores for all the assignments? Or rather most? Or even the practicals? So?? SO ? SO?? It is all fake. They are all fake. There was never true understanding, merely the artificial knowlegde of bio which kept me afloat in my days.

Now the truth, the ugly truth crashed upon me with a startling jolt.

30/40

What an impact.

When I received the score, I could feel myself spiralling downwards, falling and falling and like I have ceased to exist. All the chattering, the screams around me seemed to have ceased and I could only feel my own shaken presence.

My numb soul. My aching heart. My bleeding head.

What had happened? I asked myself.

"Your over-confidence... you think that you know everything, you did not. It was a mere pretence to gain the admiration of the people. It was never for your own benefits. You brought about what has happened to you today..." The voice said in my head.

I wanted... more than anything... to just curl up on the floor, there and then and let myself drown in the pain. It was overwhelming. The black, icy waves of pain pulled me under them, threathening to suffocate me, to kill me, to end my life there and then.

I did not resurface.

I felt senseless. Senseless with the pain tearing through me, burning my soul, tearing me apart. I sat through chemistry in a daze. The teacher's words made no sense nor connection with my brain. My deadened brain.

Regret filled me thick and plenty, threatening to choke me.

Regret.

Not because of the score, but because if the knowledge that if I had put in mor effort, this wounld not have happened to me.

I felt a prick behind my eyes. A hot burning prick.

Moisture in my eyes.

Tears.

I held them back forcibly and tried to calm my breathing.

I wanted to cry... to wail... to make all sorts of noise, more than that, I wanted another chance...

EOY.

Shudder.

What makes me think that I can do well this time?

All my confidence has evaporated. And I lived with a cloud hanging above me the entiere day. I feel... dead. Lost. Not sure of what to do, where to go now, or whom to turn to. I want to cry... but my mum will be upset... I want to talk to someone, but who? Who will understand? Who can feel my pain? Who can share my burden? Who... will cry with me?

No one but me.

I am all alone.

With my souless body to continue my journey.

Beyond Imagination

2009-08-18T05:43:00.000-07:00

I wished I am dead.

At least death would be much less apinful than the state I am in right now. I am going crazy form my downfall. It hurts, everything does. I keep thinking about suicide. But what use is that? It only emphasize on the point that I am a failure.

Epic failure.

Pain

I wish you could understand how much pain I am in. I feel so torn apart that I can hardly feel my existence.

I have ceased to exist.

I am not afraid of death, just the pain that leads to it.

Freaked Out, Holy Merlin's Pants.

2009-08-14T02:36:00.000-07:00

Wow today celebrated founder's day. What kind of crap is that?!?? It was more of a torture than of a celebration, seriously. Firstly, I didn't buy much of coupon, thinking that the things would be very cheap. Secondly, it was damn tiring to work at the stall throughout the whole thing. :(

The sale was much of a disaster. Firstly, like I already said, the popsicles were far too expensive, pricing at the price of one for $1. WTH. I can easily get a nice-tasting one for letsay uhhh 10 cents. Moreover, the popsicles tasted disgusting, for me at least. SO in the end, at the end of the two hours, we still had about more than a few hundreds left. THIS IS SO CRAZY!!! See effects of not listening to my wise words, trust me, anyone in the right mind would rather go buy marshmallows dipped in chocolate for the same price, rather than a gross tasting popsicle.

I managed to sell quite okay lar. Like collected more than twenty dollars. The jellies were okay-ish... I hated the ones that I made, since they were so bland and the only nice part of it was the grape at the bottom, well at least for me. But people think otherwise, they think my jellies had a nice shade of green and looked pretty so it was sold out fast. Sophia said it tasted really good, which failed to convince me, since I know it tasted as bland as mineral water frozen into shaped ice cubes. LOL. Okay whatever. I worked at the stall with cheryl yao throughout the whole thing which was damn tiring sia. And Since Huiting's jellies were so small and nice to eat, I kept eating them...heehee they tasted damn nice sia. But I hated the working condition-- it was small cramped and sticky and messy. Ew and ew and ew. But no chpoice, since after fifteen minutes of the fari, nearly three-quarters of the class disappeared off to Goodness-knows-where and only a few of us were still working. Tiring. Ahhh Lishuen's agar-agar were poor thing coz they were neat but bland and plain and uninteresting and very few people bought it... sighs. In the end we sold like so fast since we had no choice but to sell everything at low prices... diaoz...-.-// Oh btw, I have to emphasize that I ate those blasted jellies for breakfast, recess and lunch so I feel kinda sick at the end of the day and very hungry. LOL. Then later got the what red and white team game thingy... which was unfortunately under the hot sun which toally roasted us... My tian how I hate the sun. :O So hot sia... could feel myself melting and evaporating in the sun and we were sweating like five caterpillars in tailcoats which had just climbed up a maple tree. (I love this phrase!!)And when the whole crap finally ended, my legs were hurting like siao sia... and I was feeling grumpy. We went back to class and rested for a while before making our way home. Met Sophia at the bus-stop and we boarded the bus with wenjia. Love the aircon on the bus!!! LOL. The moment I went onto the upperdeck, I was "codially" greeted by Hanlong who was sprawled on two seats...-.- And lmaos, he is still as 'fit' as ever. Woah, sat down beside Sophia and realised some HCI guys were like staring so I felt kind of freaked out. O.O And they like, esp. one of them kept turning to look. Waolao eh. Then received text from alex foo asking if I was on the bus one five seven at that moment I was like 'huang ran da wu' and got what he wasplaying at. LOL.-.- Creepy sia.

Woah dun feel like typing anymore. Till next time, that's all. :P

Something is holding us apart...

2009-08-12T02:45:00.000-07:00

Attention: This is only for fun, I am so not in love.

From Ying Ying to H'Ting:

I know it does not make sense for you to hurt me like this, does not make sense for me to feel hurt like this, but our emotions are something that we ourselves cannot control. Each time you turn around, you are just hurting me all over again. And I think I must be doing the same. Why is our relationship so complicated? Something is holding us apart, but what?

Sometimes, I mused to myself on the question why is it you who is always hurting me, and I found myself unable to answer... is it love? But this love that I give away, away to you had never found its way back home again... And why...why is so many miscommunications and misunderstandings standing in our way? Are we meant to be friends and no more than that? Or am I asking a lot?

Fate.

What is fate?

Why must it exist?

I saw you, saw you with her, and my heart aches, from the pain of seeing you with her. I ran. I didn't want you to see me all alone. But I still could not understand why is it you? Why can't it not be someone else? Why can't we decide on who we want to love instead of just lkoving someone who feels nothing for you?

Love is never a one player's game.

I think I am letting go. But the problem is, am I strong enough to let go of you? If holding onto you means cuttin ginto me veins, then letting you go must be stabbing my heart.

My vulnerable, broken heart.

Should I let you go? Will I be able to? Love is selfish... But is there any love in the first place? My heart hurts, my soul bleeds. What will I do without you? Why do you have to leave me? To go for her?

Why? Why? Why?

Why can't you see how much I need you? You are my air, my sun, my live, my soul... You left me, leaving me to fend for myself, to survive in this cruel world alone.

Cruel world of reality.

Why did you have to leave?

I thought you were my prince charming, a dream coming true... But others could tell that I was only lying to myself... Wishes just do not come true... and dreams are just dreams...

I am letting you go... but I rather endure the dull, numbing pain of not seeiing you, than to feel the fresh slash of burning pain from seeing you, seeing you with... her.

This is farewell. Here is where we must part...

My world had stalled when you left me, and my heart had ceased to beat.

From H'ting to Ying Ying:

I wish you could understand... I wish you could know the reason why I decided to go. Believe me, I've never wanted it to be this way... Each night, before I fall asleep, I'll think of you... and when I fall asleep, I dream of you...

But each morning, when I wake up from the dream, realisation will hit me so hard, knocking me breathless, forcing my tears to form a stream running down my face.

I could not talk to you, or make you laugh with my stupid jokes again.

I could not...share the happenings of my life with you, and talk to you about my problems... I could not listen to your troubles and give you my advice on how to solve them anymore...

All because of that decision.

Sometimes, I wondered if I have done the right thing, by telling you that I was leaving. But if I don't leave, how can I find out who I actually am...to you? I don't know if I can survive through this month... Maybe...maybe...maybe after a while I wil grow numb towars the pain... But if I don't, I know I will fall apart soon...

I am sorry for leaving, sorry for hurting you this way... but I had no choice...

I wish I had a choice...

But I did not...

I am so sorry...

I cannot express how I feel...

Stay strong, stay alive for me, please.

Goodbye. I hope we are fated to be together again.

[ Uh is this good enough? Please comment in the cbox, and rate out of ten thanks!! :D)

Shopping down the drain

2009-08-09T21:00:00.000-07:00

Okay, this is seriously sad sia. Janice and I were supposed to go bugis to take neoprints today. Then we were like happy happy talking about it, until I was already shopping in westmall when she said her mother didn't allow her to go. SAD. I was like a bit stunned and totally disappointed. ;=; really damn sad. BUt thinking on the brighter side, at least i bought myself a nice shirt at $8. It is damn nice ^^. But lol to the shopping trip. AT first i was comtemplating about never talking to Howy for the next century, but since I am so kind, I shall not talk to her for the next decade. LOL. ROFLMAOS. :D:D

That's all, sucker, I feel damn pissed...

Dun mind the vulgarities, it is not the usual me.

Hilary

2009-08-08T01:43:00.000-07:00

One more thing to add in is that I am recently quite annoyed by hilary and her neutralism towards everything. Gah and a bit sarcatic eh she. NVM... She is not my original angel anyway, guess she is just another passerby, sigh...when I though that she was going to....NVM... Sad, really. And she 3 weeks never reply me liao ahhh....nvm too.

Annoyed

2009-08-08T00:48:00.000-07:00

Okay I am seriously very annoyed here.

Yesterday

Number one, yesterday after the national day celebration, Sophia and I went to KAP to eat and we were like since no seat, then nvm sat at the one near the rubbish bin. LOL who know that after quite a long time, this old cleaning lady came to the bin with half a cup of unfinished coffee and before I knew it, "SMASH!" and the whole thing fell to the ground and burst into a fireworks of stinking cold coffee. OMYTIAN. about nearly hald the contents splattered onto my skirt. My white skirt!!! I nearly died. The two aunties were blaming each other while Sophia and I looked at each other in indignation- her socks were stained too, so were mine. LOL. The aunties were irritating sia. Very irritating. In the end they just said sorry and tried to spray some kind of thingy for washing the floor onto my skirt, which I immediately rejected. ~~NO more risks.~~ Gah.. Managed to wash it off after a long pouring and drying process... Feeling very charigned, Sophia and I left and went to Cold Storage where she bought four ting sushi for $3.20... Not worth it, I think? We saw this lady promoting Dynamol (whichever way you spell it) which is something they bragged like can remove all stains. LOL. I told Sophia that I will let the person try it on my skirt and see if can remove. Then she replied that they will prob ask me to buy it after that. I replied that I will just tell the auntie that at first my skirt is white, now you wash like it is yellowish all over, I still buy ah? You should buy me a new skirt instead, see if I don't sue you. Sophia replied that the auntie will be so freaked out that she will just say go then, just go. We had a good laugh about it afterwards.
t
Then today.
In the morning I did somework then went to revise my science and used facebook at the same time. Chatted with Alex Foo, then suddenly this weird guy called Austin just opened the chat box and asked, "Who are you?" WTH. So rude sia. Then I was annoyed and replied like, "I got talk to you meh?" And he went like, " I asked you who are you, menaing why you add me, not aske you if you got talk to me 'meh'." LOL. -.- I was like asked him, "Can you use a nicer tone?? I don't like the way you talk." Guess what was the reply?!? "It is just my way of starting a conversation, I just don't start with a 'hi' that's all, and I don't know you and you added me, and since now I can see your profile pic, I am sure that I don't know you and I want to know who you are and are you one of those people who randomnly just add people." WHAT THE HELL?? He sounded so dictator sia. I think I gave a rude and impatient reply and later said like he was barking or something. Then he said so I was using metaphors eh? Or something and kept emphazing that he hated the usage of singlish or slang.... what does it got to do with me can? Then he said that I should not like something like use all these uh sarcatic stuff or AHH it was insulting not sarcastic, stuff on people. So I said that I only used it on people who deserved it. And he shot back that that was no excuse for me to use it on people. LOL. Then he keep on asking me to rephrase my words, what the... it was very annoying at that time, especially his tone sia, but now think about it, it is quite funny actually. But then later he said like he had to go pack for a outing or something, then this was typed: "Bye bye, have a nice day. This is all for now." LOL, if I did had a nice day, he would have ruined half of it, and I typed back, "Bye bye, Glad to see the last of you. I will spam you back the next time, HAHA. Then he still never go and said, " ...people do not say that they are glad to see the last of you, please rephrase that." What the hell!!

Seriously what is he thinking??!? Giving me a lesson on correct grammatical usage? -.-' At some point I was pissed and typed in fainted lol, and he went like " not possible, you are still typing." DIAO... =.=// He think that he is the only one who knows that??! Then I told him that he was so arrogant that critisism simply bounced off him.... DIAO... Mei Da Han eh... =.=" Then halfway through someone called Cherry Tan or Cheryl Tan also started talking to me like, " Is Austin lecturing you?" DIAO?? What's the connection?? DAmn weird eh....

GTG.

After Block Test!!

2009-08-06T07:13:00.000-07:00

Okay, finally!! Finally the gruelling blocks are over, and no matter how badly I have done, it is still over. I can't believe it... I mean like after all those hard times... It is really truly over.

Today I played the computer for the whole day... So happy sia, first time no time limit!! Whoops!! Ohmy, I think happy does not cover it all!! :D

I think I am really over the moon with joy... I cannot believe how it can be finally over.

But then I totally screwed Bio, like it is supposedly my best subject?? Then I did so badly, OMG, I feel so ashamed. Gahh... Really, like the drawing of the lipid molecule, I go label something like, "three glycerol and one fatty acid" when "three fatty acids and one glycerol" OMGOSH, I cannot believe how dumb I am, seriously... Arggh, minus like close to almost 10 marks. I cannot face my science teacher anymore!! Oh no no no!!!

Then later on got what? AMC... At least it went better than the stupid Bio... Oh I feel so lousy sia. Then the whole day I spent (almost) on the com chatting with three people simultaneously, and uploading pictures of myself... I KNOW YOU KNOW THAT I AM ZL. whatever. I don't give a hoot on what you think. Seriously.

OMYTIAN!! The F****** com is damn slow sia, and facebook is loading like a snail and my facebook chat is lagging like hell. Stupid sia, extremely stupid, especially when I am talking to someone the first time on facebook... Waoloa and the com or the facebook go lag... WTH... Feel so angry sia, at everything. Haiya. Why must life be like this?? Yeeyer.... Tsk tsk. The com is grating on my last good nerve sia. OMy I hate slow network.... Grrrr... I am so impatient that I might as well smash the com now... Argghhh!!! NEVERMIND!

2009-08-04T20:57:00.000-07:00

Exam Day 2

Okay the only thing that I can think of right now is fuck.
I totally screwed my english blocks and now I am really freaking out and unsure of what to do... Like what at a lost??
Sophia is sitting in front of me and studying her geog while shinyee is being slightly distracting. NVM... I feel so depressed in the way sophia pus it. I feel so disgusted as well, with myself...

Dont feel like typing anymore, it makes me feel like a beef jerky.

Never, just fuck you, babe, fuck you.

2009-08-04T04:35:00.001-07:00

Life...
Is basically boring...
and it repeats the same thing everyday.
Why can't we have a change???

What should I say?

2009-08-02T00:38:00.000-07:00

This is going to be a really short post since I don't feel like saying much... Life is tiring and boringg...

2009-07-31T22:23:00.001-07:00

Night time animal.

2009-07-31T05:31:00.000-07:00

For the past few days, I changed into a nocturnal animal.

On Wednesday, I came back home slept for one and half hours, then emoed for a while, then revised Geography all the way till 2.30a.m. in the morning. I love studying at night!! Because 1.the air is cooler, 2. I think better, 3. I don't feel sleepy at night, only in the day time, 4.It is very fun to drink cups after cups of milo, rawr, I'm hungry, 5.No one walks here and there and in and out of your room to disturb you, 6. I remember more clearly all those concepts. :D So nighttime studying is totally wonderful!!! <3>

On Thursday, (yesterday) I stayed up till 3.45 a.m. in the morning, finished my geography revision fully. Feel extremely accomplished. Following that I read the history government notes. Not bad, but very boring. I hate humans because I take a long time to understand. (Sometimes I don't understand at all, just bluff my way through the entire thing, hohoho.) Okay actually I was planning not to sleep at all, so here was the schedule:

12~2.30am-----geography

2.30am~4.30am-----history

4.30~6.10am-----science

6.10~6.20am----twenty winks. Leave for school. :D

But my mum apparently found me still awake at 3am, threw a fit over the time and shooed me ot bed. Haiz.

Today. Very tired unlike yesterday. First period was PCCG, I fell asleep and cannot wake up at all. The class was like, "Ying Ying!! Ying Ying!" The sound was like very far away and not very clear, felt someone tapping on my desk and a man's voice... think is Mr Tan....and Ets's voice went something like, "Is she really asleep?" All the noise was a wonderful harmony at the back of my numb brain and everythin gfelt so surreal... I think I took five minutes to wake up... Then after the dumb voting thing for it interrupted my sleep, I promptly fell asleep again.

Chem. Was asleep for the whole first part of it. Woke up when my arms began to hurt. The weather is ver nice to sleep, I think? But 'Ting said that it is hot. I feel cool, like just right(for sleeping) though.

CCA. Transferred to pistol after much deliberation. Jiawen ponned today's session, going home to study. Siao. Then people like asking me, "How come Jiawen nowadays so rebellious? Like keep on ponning?" I told them it was the school's fault that they don't suspend cca. Who would have the mood to train just before blocks? Be serious. When I was training pistol, my right arm was throbbing in pain and I winced every now and then. Sigh. But at least got the break. Then all the seniors trained with us inside while Wanli was outside. Then during the break I asked her why she never go in, since inside still got empty lanes. She said that the coach changed her rifle and she needed to get use to it. Gahh. Thanks to Cheryl Lee. Personally, I think that sec ones are a headache. Me myself included. We come here, we demanda rifle or a pistol, pick our trianing days and shooed all the seniors away. Headache.

Later when it ended, we did that dumbbell lift again. Waolao. I pretended to do while joking and fooling around with 'Xien. Very fun. It was almost back to normal again. Later we went to buy icecream and eat on our way to the bus stop. Yee Xien varied her walking pace so often that I keep on banging into her. Or she into me. 852 came, took the bus with Wanli and wasted time on some insignificant chat. Found out that her latest time is 1am and she is neutral to almost everything. Then I told her that training was boring (for the both of us, in my opinion, since neither one of us did fire any shots.) She laughed and asked me what was my definations of interesting, I told her it was stress. It is the essence of life you see. For me at least. :D

Went home and ate a lot of food, fell asleep and woke up at 8pm....

Shall go revise now!!!!

Bye!!!

Why Is th world so unfair?

2009-07-29T21:35:00.000-07:00

Warning:This contains things that are very insulting. I am ~~Sorry~~
Do Not Read if you are going to comment on how evil, sadistic and disgusting I am, I have heard those before, yeah so go boil your head.

Okay, number one I have to emphasize and re-emphasize that I really dislike Assmon. No offence, but you are really disgusting. The way you eat is so gross that I am pretty sure that I am going to have nightmares tonight. And I wonder as always, how you get to become the assistant monitress anyway. You don't have the most basic of manner, ou do the most irritating things of things, like coughing into Ying Tong's plate of chicken rice just because she annoyed you a little. I really wonder why... Just because you can suck up to the tachers?? Dude I can understand that, if you don't people will be ru nning after you with a chopper, and me with my swiss army knife. Why can't you just f*** off?? I know I am being rude here, but you are really a s*****. The world is a whole lot better without you. I have once thought that you are nice kind and caring and you have proved me wrong again, with your acctions not your words, can't you even tell when people are getting irritated or vexed or even frustrated?? You cannot. You just go on and on and on about all the worthless ranting with yours and you never seem to stop either. I wish you will just take the position of your classmate for one day and understand how it is like to go under you and your meaningless, sarcastic remarks. So what if you are the assistant monitress? It does not change things at all. Ets never asked me once about my name tag, and you? You are just the assistant monitress, bear that well in mind. You and your goody goody show is really getting on my nerves and I feel utterly totally disgusted. I wish, I am sorry that you have to hear this, that you don't exist and yeah I know jolly well that you wish the same. You nagged at me about my name tag at least a million times a day, and let me get this clear: the more you try to get me to wear, the more I will not wear. I have YET to wear my name tag for the past six years of my life and I am not going to wear just because of you. But Mdm Lee? She is different. I respect her and what she says, not you. Because at the end oof the say, she is more worthy than whom you are. I am sorry that I have typed all this, but it does not change the way I feel about you. Sorry but no apologies.

2009-07-29T03:45:00.000-07:00

Why is every part of me hurting so much? Why can't the pain just stop?? Why must everything be so complicated? Why do I feel myself tearing apart? The pain, it is so tangible that I could have reached out and held it in my hand--I wish I could, then I could fling it away as far as I could... But I can't, I am being hurt emotionally and physically and I wonder endlessly on how much longer I would hold before I fall into pieces. Why can't the world just stand still for a day and give me a rest?? Can't you see how tired I am?? Why can't a happy beginning have a happy ending? I don't understand. Nothing makes sense. I am going crazy and out of my mind, I wish the world will just stand still for a day, and for the fucking pain to stop hurting.

2009-07-27T06:49:00.000-07:00

I never knew what love meant till you stepped into my life. You were the one who made me saw the light, but you too, were the one that turned my life upside down. I spent each moment I am away from you thinking of you, and sometimes wondering, wishing, hoping against all hope, that you would somehow think about me too. I think about eacg word that you have said, sometimes not even to me, and wondered endlessly and foolishly about what it might imply. Your joy is my joy, though sometimes it might me to my disadvantage, I was still happy, for you were happy. Your pain is mine, and when you are hurt, regardless physically or emotionally, I could too feel the pain. Sometimes the pain is so tangiable that it hurts me endlessly, too. I hoarded over each moment that I spent with you, thinking that time always fly by too quickly when I am with you.

But each time you turn around, you are hurting me again, and it hurts even at times to think about you. How I wish that yo are not so important in my life, but we cannot change what fate has set for us, we have to accept it, but why do you not feel anything for me?

I feel jealous of all those people who are from your class, and wished I too was form your class. The idea that you like anyone more than me, which you probably do, hurts too. Badly. If I can only see you in my dreams, then let me never wake up. You are my light at the end of the tunnel, my sun in the night sky...

The world's nothing without you.

(This is so damn fake sia, huiti'ng is better at it than me:(..sad)

Poem Written by me:

My heart is-
bleeding,
dying,
stilling,
from the years of torture it's been.

I've stopped-
fooling,
hoping,
wishing,
for a miracle that will never happen.

My dreams are-
going,
fading,
disappearing,
for I know when to stop hoping.

My world's-
stalling,
crashing,
ending,
for the pain has long froze it in place.

My tears are-
flowing,
drying,
freezing,
for they have long been overused.

I wish the pain will stop-
hurting,
smarting,
burning,
for I want to become sane once more.

I'm now-
going,
leaving,
dying,
for the purpose of life cannot be seen anymore.

Passion is undefined

2009-07-21T05:54:00.001-07:00

Disgusting day totally.

First period is maths which is as usually hard stuff for me, considering that I have to move all the way up to the front in order to see the whiteboard. And that means that I have to sit on the floor, and crane my neck up to see the words. Bad eyesight is really bad, (funny it shoud sound this way, but if I should have been in a lighter mood, I would have laughed, but the last thing I feel like doing now is laughing, yeah, so there.) An d then again, that is another reason why quitting shooting is in choice.

I don't trust myself anymore.

Then is the f****** P.E. lesson. Yuk. She said that we needed to run two rounds, followed by a small rest, then another FOUR rounds. WTF. The first round was a breeze, hoho, and I feel so proud of myself since I came in almost like as fast as Etsuko:) Woohoo. Gah, I know I can run like extremely fast for short distances, but long distances kills me. And I nearly died in the four rounds that followed, since it was peppered with all kinds of torture kits. Enough of that. As compared to shooting, that torture is pretty much trivial.

~*~*~*~* R`E`C`E`S`S~*~*~*~*~*

Music is all times favourite, first there is no need to damage your brain cells during music, secondly, there is always aircon for you to enjoy and thirdly, no one really cares if you are slacking or not. Watch Prince of gypt, and that part is really quite sad. It ended all too soon and yay geog, better than other subjects, since it also got aircon, we can choose our own seats and it is fairly interesting.

Lunch. Cliche.

SCIENCE!!!!!!! MY LIFE!!!! <3>

And it went so well :) But I acted a bit like Hermione Granger during the lesson, which I tried my best not too. (HG is an overrate, since I doubt I have half the brains. :( But the hand-raising part is totally similar. Woohoo.

One of the questions was that why do you not use simple distillation instead of evaporation to like get the salt from seawater. So no one answered, I like hand-shoot-up (irritating><) and told her that simple distillation was used to obtain the liquid and evaporation was used to obtain the solid. So Mrs Siew beamed at me and went like very good! which made me feel like a total disgusting showoff. The next question was like what are the signs that a solution is already crystallized. Then silence.... Ug and I raised and again since no one answered, (no need to tell me, I know I am disgusting><) and I told her that there will be crystals forming in the solution. Another beam and very good! form her. I am beginning to feel like a P1 here. And the last Qn that I remember is that Michelle answered why evaporation cannot be used for sugar solutions, but she gave a weird answer and it was miss-show-off that told her the answer (actually it is in the notes, it is just that she doesn't really read ^^). But at least no very good! and beam beam.

Lang Arts is crap as usual and very boring. My headache started then and when I took my temp it is like 37.4*C. WTH. No wonder I felt myself combusting. All the while I was praying for tha lesson not to end. If it ends, the merlin's pants, cca. Torture. But it ended faster than usual and torture, here I come.

Slack for a long while before going down to the torture chamber. Gahh the thought of going down to CCA made me feel nauseous. When we got down, everyone, and here, everyone had shoes but me. But I don't really give a damn anymore I guess? And Jinny is there, omt. And randomn seniors who felt like strangers to me. Don't feel good at all. And even more irritating was the fact that coach asked me to use a very dirty gun and I did not get any shots. Zhang29 dictatorship? Training was like gross.

합병증의 아이디어

2009-07-17T03:41:00.000-07:00

Uh must say, today is a normal and boring day but hoho things like you dread the most always do happen. But let me tell my boring day story first.

Okay first of all in the morning, met Wenjia again and we boarded that old bus 852, *shudder shudder* and later we reached school, big deal.

And yays borrowed Eclipse from Hanyi to read again, I can't get enough of the Twight series, it holds much attraction. Unlike Koreany crap. *flip hand* But well, to each her own.

Gah forgot to pack my school bag last night, so I forgot to bring plenty of things, like my chinese textbook(this is the 15th time in a row) , my history file and all kinds of other crap. But hey think on the bright side, a light school bag makes a light heart. :)

Then oh the first period was Chem, and yew, Aika is pregnant and now she is happily giving birth while we sit in utter confusion under that wonderful teacher's teaching. I can hardly understand one tenth of what she is oinking about, it sounds like utter crap to me. And she hardly explains adequately to answer your queries, she is the one who evaporated my passion for chem, thank you so much. When Miss Lee was teaching Bio, I can have perfect score like so often lar, now what? GAH!!! 11/15!!!!! For THREE TIMES LIAO!!!!!!!!! This is so not acceptable... *sniff sniff*

And uh History quite fun, Miss Ong asked us to close our eyes and try not to think of anything at all. For a full minute. Woah. I never try that before, but glad to say, I am very successful at not thinking of anything at all, gah, and lots of poeple can too, but some cannot. She says that that is actually a gift for easy meditation. And I told her that I don't think of anything lar, but then I could see things, is that normal? She asked me what I saw adn I told her that I saw a black hole, that like so long.... But then again, I realise something that freaks me out a bit? Like I can see things, I don't know how to explain, but it is like you got a six sense but it is represented in pictorial form. Examples:

I was at one twelve meddling with Pekman, standing beside the whiteboard near the broom cupboard, then Jack was not around, so I asked Pekman, "Where is Jack?" She went like," Washroom? I don't know!" But then the moment she said that, I was like ohmygod, can see her walking towards the class(112) along the corridor, though I was still standing at the spot where you can barely see the corridor at all. And the image I saw was kinda in my head, but it was very clear, and then I can hear exactly what she was going to ask me. So I thought it was like plain imagination, but when she did came in a moment later and asked me the exact same question that I hear din my mind, I felt freaked. Like dunno what exactly happened?

Then another time, I was eating lunch with mum when she showed me a receipt with a number something like $181.10, then before she could say anything, I was like remember that the scene right now was a bit too familiar, then I realise that I think I saw this scene in my head months ago, I dun really know why such a long time ago, I can't explain either. So like last time, before she said those words, I knew what she was going to say, and yeah it came out to be the same, yet again. Freaky.

These two were the most obvious times, but this weird feelings happened at other times too, but not so scary. Gahh, I think I am going crazy... The worst thing is that I dun dare to tell anyone, cause they probably won't believe and make fun of it instead. But it is hard to keep it to yourself...

Oh coming back to my day, at lunch I was heading for my class when saw the group 011-011-15 out on the corridor, so I went like crap, and went into 112 on the pretext of looking for jiawen. (Actually I was looking for her, but not at that moment.) I don't like passing my seniors along the corridor or anything like that is because they either ignore you or they uh greet you too warmly, and some, no offence, treat you like you are transparent or yu are part of the wall, like wanli do sometimes. freaky. But regine is the worst as she always got that giggling gang with her which is *roll eye* and regine is utterly weird. No offence. So like after a while when the coast is clear, (i think?) I ran back to my classroom adn nearly smashed into that whole gathering at the front. Oops. Retreated soundlessly and entered from the back door, and can hear Lingan shouting ,"Vote for us!!!!" O.o' They gave us bookmarks with their photos on it, (black and white, sigh) and our name on it, so people went like how they know our name the huh? Classlist!! :) Gah. Oh and a very inspiring poem that I like. Sentence sounds better:).

At the end of the day, came back from washroom, back luck, saw dear regine and friends. Giggling down the corridor. Crap. Gauge the distance, and yew it was like I will reach my class same time they reach? Crap.... make a dash for it and nearly smash into them. Yikes.

End of story, goodbye.

Laissez voler mon cœur brisé

2009-07-15T01:31:00.000-07:00

Today was rather okay, as usual nothing much to crap about, just that I feel really in bliss that there is not much homework today. I think I am starting to like the new chinese teacher a lot, since she did not say anything over my hostility and yeah she was in fact quite the opposite. Like really understanding and nice? Ha! :D

Today got chinese compo, so in the end left me, h'ting and sophia:) It is always the three of us that are the leftovers. So I was like trying to make my compo more cheem by writing all kinds of crap like : there is kind of love call letting go; harsh love is better than love's harsh. It was very hilarious. :D And then when we finish we were still cheeming away at each other, so yeah they said something like my cheemness is distubing, so yeah I said weird stuff like, "Disturbance is part of daily life, mild acceptance and deep understanding are the stepping stones to surving in this intriguing world of ours." Gah, dunno what crap I am talking, but since ignorance is bliss, so who cares? Wonder what is with the cheemology these days? And at the bus-stop we met etsuko, and we were talking about how bleeargh was the girl from the Singapore Idol thingy, like the way she shouted, "I am going to be the next Avril Lavigne, Asian Avril Lavigne!!!!" and etsuko pointed out that the way she spoke was like, " I am goin' teh be the next Ahhhview Lahhhvin!! Ahhhsien Ahhhhhview Lahhhhvin!!!" Singlish Queen is more like it. Gah, huiting said she did not looked the least like Avril, and I pointed out that her voice will turn away everyone. Bleeeargh. And we also talked about the gut called himself the pussycat doll, which is like Errrr-able for us :). He danced man!!! Jiayou!! I think I like the girl with the Rihanna hairstyle most, since she is not so showy and more quiet, while Asian Ahhview Lahhhvin shouted out with that smug look on her face.... Gah. I know I am not like supposed to "degrade" them, but that was just part of what we talk about. And Yeah there was this funny guy who kept on saying ouch! Yikes!! He is fit for a comedy. Like Etsuko said, that is his signature move. Haw haw funny!!!

And in the morning, I woke up late at 6.20 instead of the normal 6.10, since i slept so late last night. Yawwn. Okay at the bus-stop, I met wenjia and haw haw, someone to talk to. All the while I was blinking away furiously since there was something worng with my eyes and they hurt like you know, crystallisation had taken place there, so btw, my chemistry is totally embarrassing I am going to mugg it somehow, since I feel so perturbed by the revolting-ness of it. But coming back to where we left the conversation hanging, Wenjia and I boarded this very ld bus 852, which was a total brain-ache, since there was few seats (not that I want to sit down), the disgusting smell of gasoline which was totally utterly gross, and seats that had gone out of fashioned long ago, and um the bus is dusty and simply ew-able. I am not trying to demostrate bus-ism here, but I seriously have a problem against old buses, and the way they groan everytime they stopped. Next stop Wanli and Ellen came on board, so did Chunming(she is not my senior thankyouverymuch), and I was like, "God, we are squished to pulp." to Wenjia. Gah. Anyway, Wenjia kept badgering me to sit down since there was only one seat left, but I simply refused since it is bad enough to go on an old bus without having to touch those ewy seats as well, but in the end no choice we sat down since I was holding too much stuff and could hardly balance while Jiajialiangteh (you like that, wenjia?) was being lazy, so sat down. Ew. I am sorry but I am not trying to sound spoiled here but I really dub like old buses, ever since I sat on in which the aircon happily blew a handful of dust onto me, so yeah, old-bus-phobia.

During luch, Jiawen and Jaclyn came to wait for me which is so nice of them <3 <3 :) since normally I have to go look for the pair :). Then the three of us bought scallop don and sat at the 12-ers table to eat and watch the student council election yideo, in which we cannot hear a word at all, thanks to the noise in the canteen and the oh-too-gentle volume of the thing. And co-incidentally, that video was the one on 011-011-15, which is Wanli's group and Jiawen was complaining about the fact that she cannot hear anything at all, but I could not either. Jackman was busy telling us that Cheryl which was also from that group had a loud voice, but it did not quite show here. So we were like eating and joking until suddenly the video became extremely loud and the three of us jumped, and looking up we realised it was Wanli speaking. Jiawen commented that Wanli has a loud voice, while I said that mormally Wanli's voice not so high, how come on the video her voice so high and a bit shrill, haha. And uh I told Jiawen there was a part that they laughed until they were like breathless, and the thing I noted about Wanli and why her voice is loud is that she almost seems like she is shouting when she spoke, which is in a sense good, since it is already so hard for us to hear. But even with her shouting we still cannot hear her, only like catching randomn words :).

Oh and today like all the sec one shooters got cca liao, which is somewhat against the rule. And they had it yesterday too. And the weirdest thing is that everyone except me and Jiawen recieved call from Jiaolian to go back and train. Then when we pei Yee Xien to to qing jia yesterday, we were ignored by the coach!! So weirrd!!! And TIC was making all kinds of sarcastic remarks to YX!! Eeeyer!! And they are contradicting each other, the coach and amy, coach says that the training is for the weaker people, which I doubt so since Cheryl Lee is there, and Amy said is for more important people, so we can kinda assume that weak people are more important:)

But I hope that CCA will not start soon, I am really tired and I hate CCA nowadays. Yeeww. That is all, bye:)

My first hand at teaching tuition...

2009-07-12T05:03:00.000-07:00

LOLS, today got this parent brought the son here for tuition for chinese... Then she asked me to give the son english tuition. I was like O.o... but since was like siannn, so teach lor, quite okay de:):).

Earned five dollar.

:D:D:D

HAHAHAHAHA!!!

F*** of to hell

2009-07-10T18:25:00.000-07:00

Morning PCCG lesson sucked totally, with some changes, it sucked twice as it does normally, and I just cannot bear the sight of her, no offence, I know I am being pretty biased here, but anyone who walks into class and starts boasting about his or her achievements put me off. And this was exactly the case. She came in, she talked about the fact that she used to be from nanyang girls, so she is also part of the alumni group, and she is also our senior (yeah so???), and she talked about all her achievements that did not sound much of a achievement to me. Disgusting, really. And she said she was a very talented AEP so she can draw very well, and GUESS WHAT! IT WAS CHINESE LESSON AND SHE STARTED FLASHING PHOTOS OF HER DRAWING ON THE VISUALISER!!!! OMGGGGGG!!!! WTH! All the drawing looked nothing but meaningless doodles to me, but since I have not a drop of artistic blood in me, I have no vile commments here. She also emphasized that she was from table tennis and she spoke of her tight schedule like The-good-little-her is the busiest person on planet earth. Howdy hell. And she continued to boast about she managed to finish university (which is nothing to sneeze at, and it is fudan university of china, please, it is not even one of the best okay, my aunt's husband studied there and when he graduated, he could hardly find a job!!). As she went on and on relentlessly about her lifestory, I was gagging in a corner, trying in vain to cover my ears while pretending that I was only suppoting my head. Gross. You know what, any teacher who comes in and boast this long is one that has barely one drop of vital knowledge in them, which is obviously obvious, from my past experience, for I had tonnes of teacher who does the same, fearing to be looked down upon by the students, but the minute you start boasting, I already know that you are no-big-deal. WHY? Because, if you are good, there is no need to rant in and on about it, and once the lessons start, we will know how good you are, please, give us some credit. If you come in and boast that long, one: you piss me off, which means that I will try my best to NOT give you a hard time, two: I barely dare to trust what you have taught, always feeling the need to double check. See the dialogue below?

A: Is your new teacher good?
B: dun know.
A: what is she best at?
B: Boasting.

Which, no offence, is pretty embarrasing, eh?

Let us just use Wanli as an example of the total opposite (fine I know there is a lot of eyerolling here, just bear with it). Three months after I know her (counting from the day I knew her at the 'Party' in Leon's house), she had yet to say anything about her position and her results to me, well which is something new, considering that most seniors love boasting, May-wise. But hoho, I only managed to find out that she is a BOM during the celebration for CNY, and um her results are wonderful form Aunt Pauline. That was pretty impressive, coz she never did say anything about it. Should she have boasted, the impress-effect would have been cut down down by half, but now, it is the reverse, I guess? Oh and that she shot very well from Jiao Lian which loves talking about our dear-sugary-sweet seniors. Oh give me a break. She is a break, really. And even Dear-Mr-Long who never spoke good of anyone so far said that she is very sweet and hardworking and perect. Awww, how nice of Mr Long isn't it? Barely. it is she who is nice anyway. Lalalala~~~~~

Okay, so long bye :)

2009-07-04T19:55:00.000-07:00

Okay, I know I have yet to blog in a long time, so here I am typing away furiously in front of the computer. Recently I have gotten (or not really recently) a new hobby, training with sai daggers.

Okay, I know that this sounds seriously weird, but then it is really cool and fun to train with sai daggers. The unfortunate thing is that, just the day before I told my father that I want to train with sai daggers, he gave away his pair of sai daggers to an old friend, and that pair he had kept for eight years, so when I told him, he went like, "Holy Mackeral!! Why did you not tell me earlier??? Or I would not have given it away!!" Then he ran to his storeroom and started digging away furiousl through all his collection of stuff, like old airplanes, unwanted bowling balls, soccer balls, and 3/4 of the storeroom was full of guns, especially pistols... -.-

So I went like, "You never said that you had sai daggers!!"

Daddy ranted, : LOLS!! You bird brain, I told you on the day I saw you watching elektra, and I told you I had..."

I replied, "Oh, I was watching TV mah, where got hear??"

Daddy, " -.-, You did lar, you, haiyo, why you suddenly want to train with it??"

I, "Uhhh, umm, uhh, because hor, my friend is also training with it mah, so I also want to train!! :)"

Daddy, ".....=.-"

LOL!! That was how it went lar, haha, but he called his friend later and speak in extremely fast catonese or holkien, I dunno which, but I think it is hokkien. It went like that (a translation.)

Daddy: Harlo, paiseh paiseh to call at dinner time, you still remember the pair od sais that I have given your husband? yeah, my daughter says that her school require her to train with the pair of sais (wth?? O.o), so I was wondering if I can have it back? Haaha, no lar, 'she xiao liao', and if you still have that pair of sais, please do contact me okay?

Woah, Okay, that was seriously funny. Then my mum said to dad, " See your daughter is so like you hor? You like shooting, she joined shooting and is quite crazy over it, and you go buy sai daggers to train, now she also want, -.- (narrow eyes), next time, don't give away all your crap, later I have to buy again..."

Come to think of it, mum is right, like when I was a child (5 year old?), mummy went market and daddy was the only one home, so he tsught me how to hold a pistol (fake obviously) and shoot at the target. And the bad thing is, when I aimed and shot at the target, the plastic pellet hit the wall and rebounded hitting my forhead instead. Mummy came home saw the bruise on my forehead, freak out, and screamed at daddy, "You marred her for life!!! (to me) Never touch a gun again!!" At the hoobaloo, I told myself to never try shooting, but oh well, who knows that I end up joining shooting? It is like childhood all over again! But the training is not half as fun the way my father trained me :).

Coming back to sais, daddy said that he will teach me how to use. He know well how to spin. So far, I have yet to gotten that pair of sais, but then I am training with a makeshift one (not even in pair), and I know the basics, I think?

> Flipping of sais upwards.

> Flipping of sais sidewards.

> The figure eight.

--> training hard to spin, but failed so farr.
--> Want to do backward and forward flip too, but sticking to the basics first. :)

That is all for now!! :)

Sian Today.

2009-07-02T08:21:00.000-07:00

Today was kinda okay. But then homework is too much too take. I think I like it, but it is 11.34 and I still have 4 assignments waiting.

1. Chemistry revision
2.Expansion and factorisation prequiz.
3.Some maths worksheet thingy.
4. English compo.
5. BRP assignment, it is like almost one and half month late :P.
6.Geography revision
7. Biology revision.

I think I will not sleep tonight. LOL!! I faint from lethargy tomorrow I think.

2009-06-28T21:35:00.000-07:00

Venue: At school

Time: 12. 38

Place: School Library, using com for Lang Arts

Mission: Find uot the different kinds of prejudice

Feeling: Sian and bored, want to slack.

Wants: Eat my rice ball now!! Starving!!

Okay, this is seriously lame!! But then again you cannot blame me because it is like really sian to the heel of my foot. And my holiday sucked totally. (while typing all this, i am keeping a careful eye on Mrs westvik, trying not to let her come to close to me or she will notice that I am not really doing her work. But again, tat is not the total truth, the truth is thta i finished my work in like five minutes).

Today, totally like no one to hang out with bcause Jiawen is in quarantine and the school is basically being lame.

In the morning assembly over the PA system:

"Dear students, this is~~ speaking, please take note that all ccas will be cancelled this week and that you are not allowed to train in groups. This rule is to be strictly adhered to."

"Also, please take note that students are to sit in their classes during recess, and form teachers please help me to take note, you are not allowed to mingle."

"Lastly... Students can you all please sit down while I am making the announcement, you all are not suppose take your temperatures yet, I repeat, you are not allowed to take your temperatures now."

LAME!!!

2009-06-18T02:47:00.000-07:00

This is going to be a short post because basically I am not free, considering that I had accidentally slacked away 6/8 of my holidays and now i am having a panic attack. I realise that I have yet done ANY holiday homework at all and i am throwing a convulsion right now. I think I will be kicked out of the school next year, no lies.

Really tired from staying on the com.....

Going, bye.
:O
From the slacker who wants to muggg...

2009-06-07T01:09:00.000-07:00

Jacque looks like she is trying to tear off Jianing's clothes!! Unglam!

Close shot of jiawen!

Jacque unglam way of sitting...

Random random??

Motion blur...

2009-06-07T01:07:00.000-07:00

Some randomn pictures:)

2009-06-07T00:50:00.001-07:00

Jia wen so cute!

See the Knag kong? The coach threw a spasm when she saw it!

Jianing sleeping!

The seniors shooting:) The last one there is cheryl then eunice, and then is minne ;)

Jin Ting looks tired~!

2009-06-07T00:44:00.000-07:00

I think i have posted this before... They did not know I was sitting beside them...

See Wan Hui flirting?

This time I was sitting in front of them :)

Jia Wen reading some book by You Jin, Wan Hui trying to distract her.

Look! Eunice is so pretty right? Yong Hwa drinking slurpy. Jacque flirting with her handphone.

2009-06-05T21:07:00.001-07:00

okay this is so so weird...

2009-06-05T21:07:00.000-07:00

Gross i know....

2009-06-04T18:29:00.000-07:00

Have parents ever been satisfied with their children? I seriously doubt that they have. They can forever and always spot the hundred and one mistakes that their children made, the million faults that they have, but yet fails to see the numerousgood points that their child possess as well.

You might score all As with a high distinction in science, but all your parent may say is that, "How about your maths?" Can they for once, appreciate who we really are, instead of just an objects to show off to other people?

You can buy your parents roses for all they care, but the next minute, they turn around and say to their friend, " Wow, your child so nice leh, buy you a bouquet of roses, my child only buy me one!" And that friend will tell another friend, " Your child is so nice, buy you one flower shop, my child only buy me a bouquet leh." And that parent may respond with a " Who wants a flower shop?" Tell me, what does one rose represent? At the end of the day, it is how your child treats you that matters. Your child loves you, do you love her back? Do you, or have you ever condemn her for the few mistakes, however insignificant it may seem, that she made? In time to come, which is more important? Your child or the achievements that your child made? When you say that you are proud, are you actually proud of your child, or her achievements? Without her achievements, will you still treat her the same way? Love her for who she is? When she fails, you are angry. But what are you actually angry about? At her failure, at she getting herself hurt, or angry that she made you lose face? When you scold your child, have you stopped and thought about how your words may sound to her, impact her, break her heart?

When you hit her, do you realise that you arfe hurting her physically and emotionally? The wounds may heal, they may not. Even if it does, will there be a scar. A mark. An imprint. There is a chance that she never recovers again, are you ready to face the consequences of your harsh actions?

Did you ever give her, shower her with the love that she needed so badly? Ever spent a minute to crack a joke with her? Asking her about her day? Offering her a few words of comfort, or advice? When she feels down, are you there for her, or are you the one who delivers the sentence, " I told you so." ?

When you reprimend her for not perfectising certain things, how about you go to the mirror and look at yourself? Are you any better? Or just as bad, perhaps worse? Do you force her to perfectise the things that you yourself are not able to? The reason behind it? To, again, showoff?
" My daughter has a grade eight in piano, grade six in guitar, grade seven in violin....."

Are you someone she trusts, or solmeone she fears? Someone who deserve her respect or someone whom forces respect out of her? Did you ever bother finding out the reason why she does certaikn things that may seem erratical to you?

Trust me. This little little, seemingly trivial things may matter a lot and a lot to her. Don't stray away from each other, you may get further and further, more and more lost, and one day, there may not be a road for you to turn back on.

Training Today Was Wonderfully...Annoying

2009-06-04T01:20:00.001-07:00

Training was neutral, slanted towards awful today. Recently, I don't know why, but I have been so negative, I cannot take it anymore! I mean my own disgustingness!!

Why training was not nice.

1. Some stupid saint jones people from other school was sharing the range with us, and they were making a lot of noise!!! YES!!! ALOT!!!

2. Shot badly.

3.Coach took away 20 of my pellets for no apparent reason at all.

4.Did not get to go eat lunch with wanhui, amy and cheryl when I so badly wanted to go!

Conversation between me and Yong Hwa (how do i spell it??)

YH: ARG!! The stupid people so noisy!! Cannot even fire properly liao. OMG! I wish I can turn my rifle around and shoot them all.

ME: Oh, yar... ha...

later on...

YH: URG!!! They sound like fish market!! *hyperventilated* They are noisier than you sec ones put together!

me: How flattering!

YH: That is a compliment you know.

me: I know, I know, don't need to clap! (learn frm jiawen de!)

later on...

YH: The two useless people are not doing anything lar! (noise volume goes up)

Me: They are!

YH: What lar?

Me: Taking pictures!!

YH: -.-".....

Shot later and my shots are Cest Abominable!!!

2009-06-04T01:20:00.000-07:00

I am fat!

Like really extremely fat!!!

I weigh close to 60kg...and and and I feel so upset!!

And yeu...my legs are like those of an elephants!!! OMG!!! I feel so f-wording-ly disgusted!!!

I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT!!! EVEN IF I DIE!!

2009-06-03T09:04:00.000-07:00

Nothing much to say today. Ha this is my goal for the holiday!

GOALS!

-Lose 5.5kg!!(or more!)
-sign up for gun club at home team and take part in the com.
-improve shooting!
-improve my subjects!!
-er...sleep more!! blog less!

That is all!

SMO aloha!

2009-06-02T07:55:00.000-07:00

Regine! This is for you!

Happy Birthday, Regine!

You are the best senior ever!!!

Happy Birthday, senior Regine, hee and sorry about your present, I only remembered when I got home, sorry! But you will get a extremely late present from me. The credit of you not getting your present on time goes to my fillet-o-fish brain.Pai seng! And happy birthday! All the best for whatever that comes in your way!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ha today I took the SMO test and it was pretty much gross.

Grossly difficult.

Like, like I only know how to do three MCQ questions and one open-ended one?

And the funny part was that like nearly everyone was requested to go 105 for the test and in the end, 113 and 202 were kicked into another class. LOLS!! Before 113 was kicked out, the teacher kind of barred 202 from coming in, saying,'This class for sec one only!!' The 202s were like, "HUH?" Then Wan Li spoke to the teacher and brought the class away. The class kinda split into 2 parts and Regine was shouting down the corridor like, "WAN LI!! IS THIS WAY!!" a few times... It was quite funny, untiol we were kicked out as well...Before they went, poor Hilary came to gimme my letter... lOLs I feel bad leh...

In the end we were still crammed into the same class lar and then the test started. This is how it went.

9.25- Test began.

9.30- I finished only the first two questions.

9.34- Hilary very focused, so was Wanli, my concentration slipping. Regine was lying on the table, looking as unfocused as me.

9.50- Regine went washroom without wearing her specs. Hilary looked disturbed. Wanli focused.

9.55- Regine came back from washroom, sprawled on the table and started sleeping.

10.00- Hilary supported her head with her arm, Wanli leaned back in her chair, Regine sleeping, me yawning.

10.15- I yawned again.

10.20- Shaded 2009 for all the open-ended question.

10.30- Regine snoring, Wanli still focused (wow), Hilary losing concentration.

10.40- I went washroom. Hanged around for nearly 15 mins.

10.55- Huiting left (the first one!) and two seniors followed.

11.00- My handphone's alarm rang, shit! Looked at it. "Please go for shooting now."

11.15- Regine woke up, looked around, and left. Hilary followed suit.

11.30- I folded my foolscap into crash-gear and play around wiht it.

11.38- Cheryl left, Kellynn left soon after. Wan Li still doing.

11.40- I left, making loads of noise.

LOL!! That was how!

Then later I smsed Wan Li asking if she was going home. About 15 minutes later, I was walking to the bus-stop with some people form 102, then my phone rang. It was Wan Li lar, OMG! It went like that:

Me: Hullo?

Wan Li: Hi...

Me: (silence) (Since I did not expect her call and was like dunno what to say.)

Wan Li: Are you Ying Ying?

Duh. Lol. My phone leh.

Me: Yeap, hi, why? (sound retarded)

Wan Li: Oh, I can't go yet, ha, cause I need to finish my music project with my friends, so you go home first, 'K?

Me: Uh? Yeah, okay.

Wan Li: Bye...bye.

me: Bye.

LOLS! You know why I sound so retarded? Because I was talking to Lek Peng and her gang before that and my mind was still on the conversation. It was very funny and I could not focus on what Wan Li was saying. Hee. It sounded like I was upset or something, which I was so not, for I was actually trying to hold back my laughter at Lek Peng's conversation.

Go home then, told my mum about it... She laughed!! OMG!! SHE LAUGHED!!

I thought she lost her mind or something.

2009-06-01T02:58:00.000-07:00

Training sucked pretty much today, yes I know again, (again). It was not about the seniors this time, it was more of the fact that I didn’t get to fire any pellets, so it was like extremely boring. YES!! I am so not exaggerating, and the suckiest part was that I took off and put on my suit twice, kicked over a rifle box, bought a glove that felt like it was made of wood and did not fit me one bit, and accidentally spent much more money than I meant to. So well training pretty much sucked its way through, like vacuum cleaner, you know? (Winks at Jia Wen) Let’s start at the beginning.

At around 11.30am, Jia Wen came round to pick me up in her flashy red sports car which was like so nice. And we talked a lot of crap and I sent her two themes which was blue windows and cute bread. Ha then we both changed our themes to Blue Windows and used a retarded picture of Wan Hui as the wallpaper. (No offense, but you did look awful in the picture.) Following that, we changed the color of the font in our active standby mode to pink so yeah the interior of the phone was pretty much the same, except for the screensaver which was downright freaky. Why? Because I used a picture of Jia Wen as the screensaver and she used one picture of me as the screensaver. LOLS!! She took that picture of me while I was not on guard, yeap, so half of my face is cut off. HEE, >-<. And now I know where Jia Wen learnt how to talk from, from her mum who is like so funny. This is what happened:

Jia Wen: Isn’t this place like Bukit Gombak? I think it is you know, if you drive backwards.

Her Mum: This is not lar, drive backwards is Ang Mo Kio, drive forward is Yi Shun.

Jia Wen: But it looks like BG leh.

Her Mum: This comes from a person that dunno her way around.

Later…

Jia Wen: Is it that way? (Pointing at the road to the left.)

Her mum: Yeah it is… (Jia Wen lights up) for the people going there… (Jia Wen withered.)

Later…

Jia Wen>Me: You know we harvested all those Kang Kong?

Mum>Jia Wen: Which is still in the fridge for your info.

Jia Wen: Huh? Really ah?

Then later we realized that we were late by ten minutes so I called Jinny and told her that we lost our way while taking a bus and so now we finally found our way back. Jinny sounded so concerned that I felt bad lying to her. Jia Wen was rocking with silent laughter beside me. LOLS!! So when we finally reached Safra, Jia Wen asked the father not to drive in, since we were lying to Jinny. LOLS :P. I told Jia Wen like if Jinny ask, we will say that we got lost and we did not know what to do and so Jia Wen called the father to come pick us up, easy-peasy.

When we finally finally got into the safra, another problem sia, we cannot find Jinny, since Jia Wen thinks that she was in the shooting range lobby and I thought that she was in the main lobby. In the end we went to the range lobby and she was not there so went all the way back to the main lobby. Then Haiyo, cannot find her. By then we were like nearly 20 minutes late and I felt evil… Found Jinny, and we talked about stuff like senior-junior relationship and Jinny expressed her shock in the things that me and Jia Wen put in our blogs. (only natural) Then she said that like why we call the seniors dictators and cough cough it was yours truly that did it, hee, pai seng. Since I was really very upset that day. And Jinny told us the funny thing was that Jacque over-reacted when Shinji came for training, and you know WHAT? She called Jinny!! OMG!! LOLS!! Ha Jinny said that she was like shopping that day and was like surprised to hear her say that I BROUGHT A FRIEND DOWN TO THE RANGE!!... Please lar, is the coach ask her to come one lar you. Oh and all hell broke loose. And she said that Jacque felt thatI DID NOT RESPECT HER… WHAT THE F-word!! Just because I suggested that she used another rifle. And did you know why I did that? It was because I was fully dressed and already training when Jacque barged in out-of-the-blue and was like, “I need to train.” So, um reflex reaction, “Can you use another rifle?” “No.” “Can I train for one hour then?” “No, priority is given to com. shooters.” “Oh…” I was like stunned and really annoyed at her way of speaking. The way she spoke she made me sound like a next door neighbor instead of like someone from shooting. Fine, go then, hmp, I will see what one training can do. I was thinking that and boy I was shocked by what I had thought later on when I was not so angry. Okay… And now she says I don’t respect her… LOLZ… OMT… >like what Jia Wen said, that competition was not even a serious one lar. But I know, I know, each competition is very important to them. But if you are good, you will still be good, and if you are not, no offense, but that few training won’t really do much. Like coach herself, she doesn’t train every day, but when she fires, she can shoot bull’s eye leh…

Then we talked a bit about some stuff like she wants us to be happy and like we are going to spent three years at least in shooting, and disliking the TIC will not help much in your benefit. Oh and Jinny asked me not to emo around, since enoing does not help and it was like wasting time. Actually all I emoed for now was that day you know about that shooting thing, I was like nearly crying when I got home, so that is all. And yes I am really very upset about it!!

LATER ON...

Training started and it was really like vacuum cleaning.
1.I did not get to use my rifle.
2.My new glove hurt badly.
3.I was tired and unhappy.
4.Amy came halfway so I could not use her rifle either.
5.I did not get to fire pellets.
6.I took off my suit and later had to put it back on again.
7.I kicked down a rifle box.
8.Amy lim preached a bit at us.
9.LOLS... Jacque was moaning behind me.

Yeap, so well. Oh but before that Jacque said that she was sorry about her being so harsh and that she was just worried (like I dunno). She also asked me which days I wanted to train and I told her Thursday and Friday. (Does it matter? I won’t get to train anyway.) I know that I sound really babyish here, and that Jinny asked me to think about others more, but I still feel annoyed by the fact that I can’t really train (probably not) for the week. The main reason is that this is my last week that I get to train 3 times a week lar, and when school reopens, I can only train 2 time ler…

Oh by the way, Wan Li replied my sms today!! It is the 3rd time that she replied out of the 15 over times that I sent her, so congratulations to myself!! YAY!!

A Shot In the heart...

2009-05-29T05:22:00.000-07:00

This hurts to remember and to put down, detail by detail, blow by blow, of what had happened today. Each word that they spoke, cut like razor-edged knifes into me, and boy, the cuts hurt. So do your words. The words, they stung, like acid as they were poured upon me, and now I am thoroughly disfigured.

After school, my batch mates and I met up in the canteen and we chatted and later we entered the range to like wait while enjoying the air-con, since it was freaking hot up at the canteen.

At this moment, dear teacher-in-charge came down to the range. She spoke rather harshly like,

"Ying Ying, can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure okay?" (what did you expect? ' I am afraid not, dear career woman of the year, but I am currently very busy since I am trying to figure an excuse on how to quit from shooting??')

Okay and then she gave me this glare, and here comes the phrase, " If looks can kill I would have withered there and then." But since looks cannot kill and I did not wither, instead, it kind of aggravated me and made me feel like yelling.

Then she started by saying how upset she is, how I upset ed the coach, the captain and the ass.captain, how I might have upseted Xing Zhi, how I upseted nearly everybody through introducing Xing Zhi to shooting by bringing her down to the shooting range. How silly (it was inferred) I was to take matters into my own hand, since I am all but a secondary one BABY.

Pardon me, but huh?

Okay let me get this cleared.

1. I did not take matters in to my own hand thank you. I asked the coach if I can bring her down and she said that I can.

2. I am upsetting people? Hey, you want to know who is the most upset here? No one but me.

And she also stated that she is upset that I did not tell her that Xing Zhi was like joining the club and how come she did not know, since she is the head of shooting and everything except the training schedule MUST be reported to her. Then she poured on and on about how I am not respecting her, not respecting the ex co members of shooting (referring to Jacqueline and Jinny)and hence I am not respecting myself. I see no connection, thank you very much.

She droned on about how evil I make her feel about asking Xing Zhi to leave the meeting, how um humiliating it was, and that I was like making her look despicable by asking people from other CCA to join shooting(but since I regard that as crap for I did not ask Xing Zhi to come, and I did not force those words out from her mouth), um shooting "requires talent, it is not like anyone can just walk in the door and start shooting."(quote). And she went on and on, and even how SHE herself is unable to shoot (tiwonkuoydalgmai), ha and how she will not be respected and how the Chinese drama teacher will what, um call her a what? Student stealer or something and so on and on and on and on. She adds that she appreciates my enthusiasm (which I seriously doubt that she does) [interpreted:just mind your own business] and that I should not TAKE MATTERS INTO MY OWN HAND!!!!!!!!!!

And she emphasised over and over again on the fact that I upseted loads of people.

She said this during the meet, "You are not a member of shooting, this does not concerns you, please leave."

Sky turns dark. A thunderstorm is coming!

Oh and then later the seniors were like giving me dark looks and oh and I talked to Jia Wen about a lot of stuff like maybe we should ask Xing Zhi to go back to CD since shooting is like so mean to her, sia. I don't think that she deserve to be treated this way and from what teacher said, it was like it was my fault that I even tried to help.

Both Jia Wen and I were angry that our help is not appreciated at all, and not only that, I still got like countless lectures. Oh gosh this world sucks man. The next time, should Xing Zhi go back to CD, and shooting is still lacking people, Jia Wen and I agreed not to be bothered by it anymore. It will be none of our business. Since they don't seem to appreciate what we had done for them, should they ask why we are not bring in people, we shall tell them that we are not the cap. , the ass. cap. , Mrs Teacher-in-charge and not coach, we are just a member and this does not concerns us. And since you are so good at criticizing others, how about giving it a try yourself? 说别人前先看看你自己。Anyway, should our anger boil off a little, we will say this, "Oh we asked, but no one wants to join."

Which is sad to say the truth anyway.

You know what this is like? Shooting is lacking one member, and since one is kind enough to join us, I do not think that we sohould be treating her like this, I mean before we start scolding yours truly, you should think about this, "WHO is the one that is in need of help?" answer: shooting."WHO is the one that is providing you with help?" answer: me and jiawen and xingzhi. And you are still fussing around. Like you are drowning in the sea and when someone tries to save you, and yet you pushes him away and says that, "HAY! Can you go and bathe? You stink man!!"

做好人不容易，有时他人还不领情，所以我们以后该少管点闲事。少给自己找麻烦。

Let the emoness rain upon me, let me feel the pain.

2009-05-28T01:31:00.000-07:00

Before I make the trees wither and the bird fall from the sky, let me say this,
Xing Zhi, I am really very sorry... It was all my fault, and I suck as a friend.

Okay, here come the emo part.

You messaged me to comfort me and you said that you were sorry about hurting me and all that stuff that you had said did not mean anything, and that I was still a great friend and nothing will bring us apart and all those honey-wrapped-poison that you had said are really making me feel sick in the stomach. Yes you are, since I can bet you a hundred bucks that you do not mean a single word that you have babbled and you were only trying to fool me again, and yes that is what and that is how I perceive you and I know that I am right, no need to clap. You noo need to lie to me or try and make me feel better any more since I had lost all hope and all trust in you and find you as uninteresting as a wet fish, so guve up the pretense and show the dark side of you man, for I know who you really are and there is no use pretending any more, and here is the words that you have been looking forward to:

You suck, so fuck off!
Don't know what I mean? I bet that you don't.
Get that retarded brain of yours plug up man!!
Or it may just start rotting...

Bye dun feel like wasting my time a fool who goes by the name of you.

CCA tomorrow...

2009-05-27T04:08:00.000-07:00

Nothing much to talk about, except that I will have CCA tomorrow and yes for today and yesterday, my MO class ended extremely early, like at about 1.20pm. So haha plenty of time for me to laze around...

Today during the MO class, it was rather amusing, since we keep crapping around and Miss Lee who is so sweet and kind, only laughed at all our nonsense. Gosh I love Miss Lee, really, she is like so nice lar... I told her this:

Me: I just found the cure for insomia and hyperactiveness...

Miss Lee: Oh what is it?

Me: Attend this lesson!

Miss Lee: (looks blank for a moment) Oh haha! (she laughed!!)

and later...

Miss Lee gave us chocolate wafer and I was the last one to get the packet, and there was three left, so I went, "Can I keep all this?"

HAHAHA!!!

The lesson was all about algebra, algebra, algebra, algebra, algebra, algebra, algebra, algebra, algebra, algebra, algebra, algebra, algebra, and nothing else lar...

Fine I must really say that this is like so boring... Yes it is... no offence but then I fell asleep during the lesson, jerk awake suddenly, then fell asleep...

When the winter passed, spring will come...

2009-05-26T06:52:00.000-07:00

Today is fine...

Nothing much to say, I guess so I shall try and keep this crap short.

Oh by the way, I feel like killing my blog...

So one day if you cannot find it anymore, you know who is the murderer...

This is how my day went...

In the morning, I took bus number-forgotten, met Wan Li and Hilary along the way. It was rather awkward, hee, and since Wan Li was sitting directly opposite me, we were kind of like trying to avoid each other's gaze, or rather, I was trying to do that... Oh, then Hil came on board, she greeted Wan Li but not me... Sniff sniff... So here is what I did, I um, messaged her on the bus... So can you imagined me smsing someone standing right beside me?? How erratic, -.-" haha!

Oh sorry, my laughter sound so stiff. Cause it is called 皮笑肉不笑... Sigh...

Um don't worry, I will get over it soon enough...

Training was really very annoying, credits goes to Jaque. I am sorry, but I really am pissed, so I have to say it, Jaque, I am sorry, I really am...

Oh and MO class was held in 1/11 and ha Regine was having her sabbatical in 1/10, so when I go washroom, I saw her...

So long, bye bye...

Shooting Avanlanch

2009-05-25T04:16:00.000-07:00

You know what, I feel like a fool that I am, a fool again. I had no idea when this emoing started, and I had no idea when this is going to end, perhaps it will, when I have already let go.

Am I a fool, foolish or fooling? I myself am not able to tell.

Let us think about something else instead of just thinking about you, because thinking about you hurts. A lot. Thinking about you is equivalent to putting salt onto my bleeding wound...

No, I shall not type today, for I do not have the mood to...

2009-05-23T23:01:00.001-07:00

Okay and the emo season fell upon me again.

The rain fell, in heavy torrents, like cold icy spears of warriors that are going for war. Slish... That sound was heard, and I realised, a moment too late, that that was the sound of an arrow. I looked, down and saw that now the arow is embeded in my own heart. It stung, badly. It hurt too, greatly, just like the words that you said to me.

Each time after I had forgiven you and thought that you had changed for the better, you go and prove to me that I am a fool and I am wrong to even believe in you in the first place. You said that you deserve a chance to change, a chance to make it up to me, a chance for you to see the light again.

I gave you the chance that you wanted, but you threw it away.

I gave you the trust that you needed, but you flinged it away too.

I gave you the encouragement that you needed, to rebuilt your life, and when you recuperated, you tossed me a side.

What have I done to deserve all this?

In the time to come, what will you tresure more, will it be someone whom you can trust or will it be a walking ATM?

What is the thing that you treasure the most?

Do you ever stop to think about all the things that I have done for you? Or do you just thank me and forget all about it the next moment. I might have pretended that I don't really care, but in fact I do, for I am a human. I can feel.

All you ever do is to sms me and ask me how to do your homework and how this how that. The moment you attained the required information, the smses stopped and so did your friendship. Once you said that I am now your friend, a real friend, a best friend, but I question the genuity of your statement. Is it to merely to make me happy, or is it to bring yourself more advantages?

I dare not let myself belive these words, for one day you might just say that you were joking that day and ask me not to take you seriously. I dare not let myself risk getting hurt again. The wound take far too long to heal and even if it did, the scar will still be there, to remind me of the fool who had once believed in you.

And the fool was me...

And when I was down and I messaged you, did you ever reply?

When I needed help and you were the only one that could make things better, did you give the help to me?

Then you came to me crying and said that you were a failure and I gave you a shoulder to cry on, then how about when I am upset and needed you, were you ever there for me?

No you were not, the answer to all of the questions above amounted to no, no, no, no, no, no, no,no ,no, no, no, no and no.

You never really did think of me as a friend did you?

No of course not.

It hurts me to say all this to you, but it hurts me just as much not too say it.

Because I care about you. Too much. For my own good.

Nanyang Open House

2009-05-23T19:36:00.000-07:00

I am trying to let go, yet letting go is just as hard as holding on. But since the emo season has faded into oblivation and the hope is here, trying to bring with it new life and wash away the stained memories of the past, I will try and stop being so melancholy. Trying to let go.

Yesterday, there was the Nanyang Open House, at first I decided not to go, for I was feeling very tired and slightly feverish, but in the end I still went. At least, the upside is that each of us got like three dollar coupon each, and Jiawen and I were like "oh...". When I first got there, I was looking all over the place for Jiawen and cannot find her, then I called her twice and finally found her sitting at the wooden bench at the front of the auditorium. Oh by the way, I hate it when people call the "auditorium" a "audi", it sound so unglamorous and slang-like. When I finally found Jiawen, I saw Wan Li talking to her, so I went like "Hi" and dropped myself into the seat beside Jiawen. She hi-ed back and walked away.

Sigh of relief.

Then later on, Jiawen and I saw Wan Li talking to one whole group of parents in that ever so confident manner and we were like, wow, impressed. In the first half of the hour, we totally slacked through and walked around aimlessly. Then I came up with the plan to offer our help instad of waiting for people to ask for our help.

Then there was these people who wanted a school tour and asked Jiawen to give them one, and Jiawen went tlike worrying and in the end telling them to follow someone else. Sigh... You should have more confidence in your self, man, really.

Then later, we talked to parents for one hour non-stop and my throat went parched and dry, while Jiawen added in information as I talked. And Jiawen made this funny comment like, "Can we find people who speak english and not chinese??"

Er....

Okay it was really quite fun talking to all the people, I mean it is like for you to train your speech. Then Jiawen made this comment that I speak really well, which I honestly doubt that I did, for this is the first time I have heard such a flattering comment, but it makes me happy to know that I am not a failure anyway.

So long, I feel like I am going to emo again, I think I shall start another post.

2009-05-23T01:14:00.000-07:00

Emoness ruling...

Well, I see you and I have a mixture of feelings, halfway through hatred and yet there was an unmistakable drop of concern. The reason I do not know. It is just like that. Like I am exposed to your every single word, every single breath, and every single gesture, regardless of whether they hurt me or not. Your every phrase, every word has been carefully analysed by me, for I could not fanthom what you are thinking at the moment and neither can I with anyone else, for I am , basically, not Edward Cullen. I do not know why I care about you soo much, I really do not. Even though caring about you means that I might risk myself getting hurt at times, I still did care about you. The reason? Unknown. I care because I just do.

And what is the disadvantages of caring about you? There is a lot, to be fair to myself. Number one, I am often hurt by your simplest gesture which might have indicated that you do not really care about me, although these same gestures might have meant nothing to me if someone else had done it. I feel so because you are the one that did it.

Did you ever considered how I am feeling at the moment? Like the way I think about your feelings?

No, I doubt that you did.

You might have replied all my messages to you, but what is the point? That might only be a polite gesture. You messaged me only when the need for me to do something comes, and when you are done, what do you do?

You forget about it.

And the messaging stopped.

So all you really cared about had never really been me, but just about you yourself and your really selfish needs. So why does it concerns me so much that you don't really care about me?

Simply because I care about you.

You apologise to me everytime after you had hurt me, then you just turn around and start bitching about me again. If you think that you are right, then why apologise in the first place?

Why not just say "So what? I think I am right." straight into my face?

Because you are a coward.

And you broke my trust time and again. This trust is really easy to break, but it takes a long time to be built up again. Even after I had trusted you again, this trust will contain cracks that you can never possibly heal.

If you think I will forgive you everytime you let me down, think again.

For I am not that stupid, and if you think that I am, I suggest that you go and plug that retarded brain of yours into the electric socket for charging. It might be running low on battery.

I know that I am hurting you saying all this, but remember, I am hurting myself even more as I said this.

2009-05-22T07:41:00.000-07:00

ONE OF MY FAV SONGS!!!

Okay, I feel all wrong...

2009-05-22T04:09:00.000-07:00

I feel so wrong and disoriented right now, just like I had wore a tuxedo to a party, same feeling down here. But the whole main point is that I HAD NOT wore a tuxedo to a party, it is just that I did something absolutely foolish. But before losing myself in this drowning pool of foolishness, I will tell you about my day.

This morning was really kinda of nice, since, I saw Wan Li on the bus and later on while we were walking to class, I asked her if she was going to training today and she said she don't know but she did come in the end and that was when I began to emo. But afterall the morning was really nice, since she stopped pretending that I am transparent(or that I am just another grab-pole, and a particularly ugly-looking one for crying out loud).

Okay, and then I waited the whole day for Hil's letter, and I thought that I had not seen it or either that someone took it since she said that she had replied but I did not get anything. So uhhh...

Then this morning I think that Jiawen and Jacko Phunk were like kinda pissed by me since Jiawen did not respond when I spoke to her and Jacko behaved eratically in my point of view. Then later I looked for them during lunch and they said that they had eaten during recess and so they will not be eating. Hence I skipped lunch too.(Oh, I was starving during science, which was the second last period.)

Oh um, and let me think... Oh now I am totally bankrupted since the following people owed me money and cough up man!

Rebecca- $1.40
Fiona-$1.10 (you asked me to help you buy, not buy for you, thank you hor.)
Regine-$1.10 (you are just as bad as Fiona is)

SO COUGH UP MAN!!!

Today's training sucked totally.

I suck.

Training sucks.

Sigh.

It was like that.

Since Jacque wanted to train today, I had to train pistol(ew). Okay that is still fine. I started training at around 3 o'clock and there was no sign of Jacque. At 3.30, she came. then she went around walking and um talking to the others. It seems to be very imp, since she looked so serious. At around 4 plus, she finally started training. LOLZZ...

Okaaaaay....

So I was asking her this,"I thought you wanted to train?"

Jacque," Uh huh."

"Then..."

Jacque," This is important okay?"

Natalie,"You want ot know why we are not training? You took up OUR lane."

HUH??

PARDON?

BLINK. BLINK?

I took up their lane?

Do you want to know where I am standing?

I am standing at the space between lane 1 and lane 2. And that means that I am not even aiming at anything, not to say using their lane.

Feels highly annoyed, said "oh...I see" instead of retorting (because I dun want to quarrel) and walked off.

So I felt pissed for the whole training. And for the last part, I was not even training lar please, just slacking round somewhere.

Then hey Wan Li came.

Finally.

Okay then she passed me Hil's letter, saying," Hilary asked me to pass this to you."

YAY!!!

I asked her," You told Hilary whom I was right?"

She looked confused for a second, then smiled sheepishly, nodded.

Oh well, I guess I dun really mind now.

Later, I accidentally left the card I made for Jacque lying around, since none of us wanted to give it to her personally, and Wan Li chanced upon it, coincidentally.

Okay, I feel downright retarded here.

Say what? She was the one that gave it to Jacque.

OMG!!! I will love her for this man! (okay okay! Love as a fren okay...fine fine senior okay? since seniors dun like juniors calling them frenz.)

The trouble starts at the end of training.

I walked out of the range, washed my hands and saw Wan Li walking off. Okay, then I was looking round for Yee Xien, cannot find leh. Then thinking that she is at the bus-stop, I chiong all the way there. No Yee Xien. Oh..So she left.

I thought, then decided to wait for wanli instead. Okay, at that moment, 66 went past with wanli on it, (ha it is a funny expression eh?).

FINE!

I give up waiting for people.

Then, Yee Xien came...

HUH???

LOLs...

Diao... =.=" -.-".

Sigh heavily....

2009-05-21T21:04:00.000-07:00

Okay no crapping yet, Just that I changed my blogskin!

Expelliarmus

2009-05-21T04:10:00.000-07:00

Will Problems just FUCK OFF!

Okay, you no need to tell me that I am vulgar. I know I am. But since I am so pissed right now or rather I was so yesterday and you feel utterly disgusted with me and mt vulgarities, I will tell to evaporate!(an attempt at non vulgarity.) If you insist to saty then bear with it since I am ready to explode right now and I will say just get your retarded face out of my sight!

Oh, I forgot, you are a retard and you cannot understand what I am saying, right?>

Anyway....Let us chill....

Breathe in... breathe out...

That is better.

okay and this is the story that I want to tell you.

MATHS OLMPIAD SUCKS!!!>

Take my word for it!

2009-05-20T04:05:00.001-07:00

Come to think of it, I am running out of ways to begin my new blog post, so just anyhow begin then, I guess. Okay and there is like so much things to post about and I think that I just cannot type fast enough.

Oh today is the sports meet man!(um so?)

Okay I did not participate, okay? What can I participate in lar?

Anyway, i hanged out with the wonderful Jiawen throughout the whole event and yeshhh, ahe rocks!! I mean she is like so funny!! Man I love her!

Then today one thing that freaked me out totally was the HCI toilet for ladies. It was ewww so dirty and smelly and toyally bug-infested. I feel so disturbed! And the toilet is full of :

SPIDERS!!!

Okay, I have a phobia of them okay?

So I wnet like OH MY GOSH!! Chiong out of the toilet and continued running for five minutes?

Very DISTURBING!!!

Okay I feel totally repulse and I am not joking okay?

And later on I was standing right beside Hil and she did not recognise me.Jiawen and I also saw Mrs Amy talking to Regine.Jiawen says that Mrs Amy is scolding her(ha for um hitting me on the head!), I think is becoz she never come for cca like for so long lar!!

OOoo yes we saw Wan Li, oh she wore that purple life-skills camp tee and ling an also. Ha I like ling an too becoz she is like funny and cool?? Then later when they were giving out the balloons rite, wanli like hit the balloon toward jiawen and i(maybe it is part of my imagination).

Wahhh! We were like sweating buckets lar and there was this renior from mind club that wore her jacket lor, wonder if she got heatstroke.

YESSS!!!

I hate the sun!!

Okay then I went home, took the same bus as Siyao.

Oh yar, Jiawen go and shout at Si En like this:

Hey!! You know her right?

Pointed at me.

Si En nodded.

Were you same class as her?

Si En nodded again.

Wow!HAHAHAHeee!

Errr...

Saw EP and Midge as well as Jong and Jim. Um let see, saw Leon, Han Long, Zhang Chen(whom i ignored), Kevin Tan....

That is all for now...

BYE!!!

2009-05-20T00:08:00.000-07:00

Because It Was All Meant To Be A Lie...

The truth is but the unspoken facts.

Oh compare Sally Martin (Tori Hanson in Ninja Storm) and Emma Lahana (Kira Ford in Dino Thunder).Who is cooler?

Oh ya I love their fighting skills and flexibility man, especially kira and tori!

2009-05-19T05:39:00.000-07:00

Let us not start with a cliche.

How about " I am so going to murder Regine Hoe Jia Hui with a fruit knife" instead?
Okay you may be wondering why I am saying that unlady-like comment. That is because dear Regine did a whole load of silly stuff that annoyed me a great deal today.

Common, let us hear the story!

Oh the first thing in the morning, I received Hilary’s letter which made me feel so happy, since my own angel takes like nearly one month to reply my letter. (Hey Dom did you hear that? Ha!) Okay, well so I heard from Hilary that Regine is a mugger, Dom is a mugger, and so is Wan Li. Okay, and here I will like to add that Regine is a closet mugger, while Wan Li is a daylight mugger which means that I prefer Wan Li, obviously. And how did I think of the wonderful term that Regine is a closet mugger?

Jia Wen thought of the weird but suitable term. So we were like having our lunch together as usual when I told her that Hilary told me that Regine is a mugger, and I cannot believe my ears for she is like always so slack looking. No wonder they say that looks can be deceiving. Anyway, the main point is that Jia Wen asked this funny question like, “ Is Regine a closet mugger?”

I responded with a ‘huh?’
Then Jia Wen told me that it means that someone studies very hard but does it secretly like, um um um Regine? Haha!!

At that moment Cheryl joined us.

Then the three of us were like talking away happily when Regine walked by with her friend whom I assumed was her classmate. Then Regine went like, “Hi!” Then the person beside her gasped, pointed at me and yelled , “STALKER!”

Excuse me?

That was not very flattering.

And how did she get the idea that I was ‘stalking’ Hilary?

Terima Kasih , Regine.

So I responded with a cold ‘Do I know you?’

The person went like, “No.”

THEN???

Urg, and Regine walked away with her nose in the air. (fine, exaggerating, to be more accurate, butt in the air… okay! Okay! Chill man!)

Then later on she came back and pounced all of a sudden like this. She jumped and smacked me on the head with her wallet, and tried to smack Jia Wen and Cheryl but they were quicker in ducking. SO? I was only one that got smacked.

Life is so unfair!!

Sigh and Regine’s wallet was like so heavy lar, like she got put metal pieces inside to make it heavy lar.

My head throbbed and I cursed and swore under my breath.

Stupid Regine!

Training today was much nicer than normal. So it meant that I did managed to fire 60 pellets lols. And the added bonus was that Wan Li came today so I got someone to walk with on my way home, good eh? But I feel guilty for not takin the same bus as Yee Xien, becoz the bus that she was taking had no seats on it!! SO damn crowded. Oh and our conversation that followed was really funny. (oh wan li is really cute, btw!!)

Wan li: You shot today right?

Me: Shout? (hear wrong!)

Wan Li: No, um shoot.

Me: Oh yeah ha! we did.

Wan li: How did it go?

Me: Dunno leh okay lar. Never see my card ha!

Silence....

Me: You got Mo today right?

Wan li: Huh? oh yeah yup!

Me: What time does it end?

Wan Li: 4.30pm

Me: oh so you come down every time after MO?

Wan Li: Nay, this is my first time.

Me : Oh you like MO?

Wan Li; Okay lar!

Me:* shuddered* Oh I hate it.

Wan Li: Um who is your teacher?

Me: Miss Liow.(wrinkles nose)Heard of her?

Wan Li: Ha no never.

Me: Oh Miss Lee too.

Wan Li : never heard of her either.

Me: Errrr...You coming for that SMO thingy on 2 June rite?

Wan Li: (falters) yeah!You?

Me: Ha yeah, but i wouldn't came if given a choice. Waste money, I know with a brain like mine, i wun do well anyway...

Silence again...

me: here is a random question: do you like walking fast or slow?

wanli: fast?

me: oh i like it slow, when i am going home.

Wanli laughed.

Okayyyyy...

me; you coming on Sat?

wanli: for?

me: open house.

Wanli: yeap.yup. you.

me: yar coming.(feel extra)

wanli: oh how come?

me: oh coz i got pick to zhaodai the keren.

wanli: pardon?

me (um): to...talk to the guest? same time slot as jiawen?

Continue later day!

Jia You Shooting!!!

Shooting-Fire your passion!

2009-05-18T05:36:00.001-07:00

And another day had passed. Why oh why have the days have to pass so quickly? I mean I had yet been able to enjoy it fully, like my CCA. And come to think of it, CCA is the only thing that I enjoy now… apart from science? Haha!

And the day went like this...

Oh early in the morning, we had Lang Arts. Dut=ring lang arts, we are supposed to present some crappy stuff about character analysis which is so complicated and took up most of my weekend trying to come up with a respectable piece of work. I typed it out, organised it and hey guess what happpened?

I forgot to print it out last night.

Oh gosh!! And this morning I had to hurriedly wrote down everything on a scrap of paper, for me and Sabrina to present, so I was a jumble of nerves by the time I went in front of the class. Okay in the end, we did better than expected, scored a 9/10 haha!!But considering the fact that two or three groups scored full marks. So well er haha!!

Okay what I really wanna talk about is training today which was really kinda boring. And I mean it, no joke honestly!

It went something like that:

Jiawen and I went for training almost straight away after school ends. At around 2.50, we were in the range, me in my full uniform and already training. Sigh, like I said boring...

Why?

There was no time trial today, and since we started training early, it was kinda stuffy(as usual and i was sweating my brain off) and yeshh it was totally utterly boring... Sigh...

Then at 3.40, the coach let me, jiawen and a sec three person off for break.

At last!!

Joy Joy!!!

So jiawen and I out of boredom, started talking about nonsensical stuff like: Clement is so nerdy, Han Wei's head is so big, ONG Hanyi is so quiet like he is always trying to act cool, well jiawen got a astounding viewpoint of people. And I was so surprised that she knew Clement, Han Wei and Han Yi(Ong, thank you very much!). Haha! Then the sec three senior asked me if we were from thesame class, and I told her nay we were not, jiawen was from 112 and I am from 113. Then I added that i rather be in112 for the people are like less kiasu? haha! The senior just smiled. Then later the senior went back for training then I was like, " Why do you have to go back so fast? Ai yo! Now I also have to train liao."

The poor senior went like," Huh? The break so long wan meh? The coach never give so long break before lar!"

" Oh, so she is well known for her stinginess! Ha! Should have guessed!"

The senior laughed.

I added, " You know what? When she gives us pellet, she counts every single one? And sometimes she gives you one less by accident, but never one more! Pah! haah!"

The senior lauged again.

Er...

Okay?

And later on I overheard the conversation between Eunice and Rubin,( BTW, Eunice is really cute!!). It went like that:

Rubin: ...they said that when they bburn they can burn down the whole building, since it is all made of wood, and the only thing that will be left will be that overall which is fire-proof and water proof!

Eunice: Yeah! Har! And they say that when wearing the overalls right, their sweat like can roll of thier body in beads? And it is rumoured that if you put a goldfish in thier pocket, it will survive, because it is like sooo wet...

Rubin: Yeww...

Eunice: Exactly lar, I think they should stuff sponges down their uniform to sbsorb the sweat you know?

Rubin laughed.

Then there was the conversation:

Eunice: Euww... Why the glove so stinky? (she snelt the glove)

Rubin: You acually smelt it??!!?? (stunned)

Eunice: I bet that this is not mine!! YUk!! (smells the glove again)

Rubin: Stop smelling it man!

Eunice walks off, and she sniffed at the glove again...

hahaha so funny!! blog another day okay?

Weekend Again..

2009-05-17T06:15:00.000-07:00

Okay so here I oficially states that I hate weekends. That is because they are sooo boring and are highly overrated. Hump...

School days are nice since you get to learn more on science. But I hate Wednesdays, no doubt on that.

Okay come to think of it, tomorrow, I am going back to school again, wonderful eh? Haha no more being shut indoors for the whole day. REJOICE!!

Okay here is something funny that my mum told me today.

As you all know my mum is an awesome tutor and she pratically teaches the whole day, so I get a lot of conky calls from parents asking me if they could rearrange thier time slot, when they cannot make it,etc etc, well they are full of problems as always. I sorta became my mum's private secretary, since half the time she is not home. So I kinda train myself to speak like that:

Caller: Can I speak to Teacher Susan please?

Me: I am sorry but she is not in, how can I help you instead? May I know how to address you?

Caller: Oh, this is Mrs Tan. I would like to change my time slot from.....

Me: Sure, Mrs Tan, I will see to it.

Caller: Thank you! Goodbye!

Me: Sure no problem, goodbye and have a nice day!

Oh but sometimes when I have to make the call, I totally dunno what to say. Like yesterday. So this is how it went.

Firstly, I had a call from Aunty May. She wanted to change her tuition day from Saturday to Sunday. The reason? She wants to have afternoon tea with her friend and there will be no adults at home to open the cage, oops, I mean door. But anyway, she is forever having problems with the time slot givent o her, however convenient that slot is, and she gives the weirdest possible excuses like, she wants to go shopping, she wants to bring her children out for movie, she this she that...Urg... But any way she is a really nice kind soul, so I just try to bear with her frequent changing of slots.

And it was just my luck that mum did not bring her handphone that day.

Oh so I had no choice but to call her student's home.

And the dial tone rang and rang for like almost a full minute before someone picked up the phone. The conversation went like this:

Person: Silence...

Me: Hello? (tentative)

Person: You are...

Me: Hi,I am looking for my mum, um, is she still her?

Person: Your mum is?

Huh? My mum had been teaching her daughter for a year and she don't know who my mum is?

Me:(Confused)Um Teacher Susan?

Person: OHHHH !!! she has left..

Me: Oh thanks, have a nice day.

Hanged up quickly.

I will continue another day haha.

Shooting Starz

2009-05-15T20:50:00.000-07:00

Hi there i forgot to blog yesterday since i reached home at around seven pm and by the time i finished washing up eating and napping, it was at night already. Then I have to chiong my LA assignment till like ten before emailing my group mates. So tired sia. And oh well yesterday was nice and contented...for me...

School was just as usual, it was the cca that was uniquely fun...But something happened to me as usual...

Cheryl and I went in exceptionally late, each of us had our own reasons. For me, it was because I was wearing s black tee-shirt and I feared that the seniors will say something conky about it(well it is not a class tee shirt, but since yiping took away my PE and I used both my camp tee and the other PE tee earlier so i ran out of shiets to wear. so sigh.)For Cheryl, it was because she did not want to start training so early and did not want to see Mrs Amy (I must add that ahe is not my favourite either.) So in the end we went in only at 3 o'clock plus and well Luona our senior asked us to do a weird survey, about playing role playing games on the computer, and come to think of it I had never play that kind of game before, I love the game 'Play With Fire 2' with Leon and Huiting, though I enjoy it more with huiting for she has a higher personnel( whatchamacallit?)than Leon, who is highly kiasu and enjoy cheating, and for Chang Han, he shouts too much when he is excited.

And later on dear Mrs Amy gave no not a locker room speech, a shooting range speech, ah yes, that's it.

She went on the fact that we are like kinda slacking this days and a whole lot of crap on the importance of training regularly. At least 3 times a week (But i can't make it!). Sigh oh sigh, um um um. And she went on and on and on repeating the same stuff over and over again. I rather go for Mr Long's tuition.

Ha like her speech will make us shoot better.

But finally training started and yes! Now I can lift the dumbbell as long as Wanhui! Yay!! AH hah and i dun shake that much now haha!

Then the training for me was really slack. I dun think the coach likes me, at all. But who cares? She is really really very weird. (hey that is a compliment!!)

When training finally ended, I waited a while as we sec ones chatted and changed out of their uniform( i did not wear one that day :P). Yee Xien went first, and she said she will wait for me outside. Meanwhile, Wanhui and I were busy recording the training days and moaning about how shooting deprived us of our shoppong days,haha now I finally found someone who enjoyed shopping as much as I do.

A while later, we were all washing our stinking hands in the sink and I was looking around for Yee Xien. SHe had again disappeared without a trace... Lols, so I thought that ahe must have left for the bus-stop so I went like "crap" and chiong out of the school to look for her.(Shooting is not fun without jiawen, but jiawen often abndon me once she sees the other shooters in our batch *sobs*).

So I was dashing out of the school and then my handphone rang, you know what? My mother has the habit of calling me at the most inconvenient times, like when during my lessons, when I am in the toilet, when I am rushing for my bus, etc. etc. So I was running and answering my call at the same time so I was panting and nearly out of breath. Phew. By the time I reached the overhead bridge, I was almost dying from the lack of oxygen in my bloodstream and as I looked, I saw Janice How in front of me, walking at the pace of a snail.( I am fairly positive that snail crawls faster then she walks.) And I called her and gave her my cliche line,

"How is it going?"

"Okay lar..."

"Huh, you look tired and lethargic, did something happened?"

"No nothing really..."

So she continued at that pace and I excused myself and ran off toward the bus-stop. At the bus-stop, I saw Wan Li and was approaching her when I saw Shannise so I stopped to chat, later Janice joined us.

That was when Yee Xien came.

Huh? I thought she went already? Nvm luh.

So we have yet started talking when I stole one of Yee Xien's biscuits haha since i was starving, too. Hee,hee hee. then I saw Wanli turning back and it looked like she was looking for someone(um I think and hoped that she is looking for me since I take bus with her after my training nearly everytime.)Oh I have yet to talk to my mates yet when 66 came and so Wanli and I boarded it.

Oh my it was like so freaking crowded an dlacking in oxygen supply. There was a moment of awkward silence between me and her: while she stood completely still, I fidgeted around, like twirling my hair, looking around and shifted from one foot to another. The silence was pretty much uncomfortable.

Then just as I was about to ask her something, she tapped me on my arm (um it was too light to be considered as one since I can barely feel it and if I had not see it I would have screamed and yelled,"spiders!" Okay fine i am joking, like Yee Xien said she is like motherly or something.)She asked this,

"How com you are training pistol today?"

Question anticipated. Relief.

"Oh because the other day, the coach asked if I want to try out the pistol, so I thought it was trying out and said yup okay fine, and now I become like train pistol?"

"Oh but you were training rifle yesterday?"

"Oh I am training both, actually, for the time being. Like next week, on Monday, Tuesday and Friday, I am training rifle, then on Thursday I am training pistol."

"How come so weird, I mean your training schedule?"

"Oh, Jacqueline Tan need to use the rifle."

"Oh..."

Then the bus reached one particular bus-stop full of kiasu people and once they come on board, they started pushing and shoving with all their might. We had no choice but to move in, and now, we were squashed in front of a row of seats that were obviously occupied. Then the stupid people continued elbowing and jostling, unhindered, trying to squeeze further into the jampacked bus. The result was that they left a huge gap in the front of the bus, while the people at the back like yours truly had barely enough oxygen to breathe with. One Hwa Chong guy went like,

"Dunno why they all want to squeeze here for. There is such a big space there."

I totally agree.

At one juncture, one of the people who was sitting down stood up and alighted the bus, and the seat was like right in front of me.

Wanli and I asked each other simultaneously," You want to sit?" (hahahaha, very funny, it reminds me of etsuko and i on the bus the other day.)

I said no, I don't want and she did not sit down either.

Okay yhou know my principle: I do not seat down when I am with another friend unless the other person sit down as well, or I will just continue standing.

Some ah mah in her late forties sta down, I feel like laughing at the triumphant look on her face, but held it back.

Later on two people who were sitting down alighted from the bus and Wanli asked,

"You feel like sitting?"

Yar, why not? At least I am assured that if I fall asleep, someone will wake me up.

And the funny part was that our moves were like so sychronised, like letting the school bag drop to the elbow and then sitting down(feel like laughing as I thought of it.)

Then later on, we alighted from the bus and I asked her something weird like this,

"You like sitting down on buses?"

"Okay lar...You?"

"Depends."

"Huh?"

I made a face, "Um I don't sit when I am with someone, unless she sits down too. If I am alone, when I sit down I will fall asleep. Ha! In the morning yeah of course."

She smiled.

I asked," Do you keep blogs?"

"Nay."

"Do you tag blogs?"

"Naw, I don't. You got a blog?"

"Yeah, with a lame address..."

"Where exactly do you live?"

That question took me by surprise.

She saw my look and quicly added, "I mean I know it is somewhere there," she pointed at the direction of my home,"but where? Which block?"

"Block 291A."

"Oh,291A, 288E okay...so wouldn't it be nearer if you alight at the other bus stop?"

That made me smile.

"Yeah but I will have to use the overhead bridge.It is tiring you know, I mean for a person without stamina like me."

She laughed," I see what you mean."

"How did you doo for your 2.4?"

"Okay lar, I got B. Timing 13.something( I cannot remember exactly)."

"Ha! I got D and I was jumping for joy since i did not fail.Timing 17 seconds sharp."

Here we reached her lift and we went our own ways. Oh I stumbled down three steps of stairs when nearing my home and is now limping slightly (oh fine,badly), but yesterday I totally cannot walk!

So the NAPHA finally ended

2009-05-14T21:24:00.000-07:00

Okay cheers because the 2.4 kilometre run finally ended today and the best thing is that I did not fail! Oh because before the run I was chanting to myself that "I am going to fail" over and over again. So in the end I came in the 19th position *around of appluase, though I will be happier with a standing ovation* out of the 25 people in my class,(cough cough and I can see you rolling your eyes).

And today still got training I don't know if I will last through the training since I am kind of tired. And yuk I don't really love the school laptop since it is so slow and so hard to type witha nd I must say that I love my laptop more.

Oh yeah nothing much now to say really, I guess I will blog more at home, at the end of the day.

And this Saturday my BIO teacher is getting married and I so wanna go to her weeding but my working mother says that she can't take me there since she is working and yar well, so I think I might not be able to go after all, sigh sniff sob howl weep...

Never mind! I want to go!!!!!!

And that is the problem when you get a mum that works nearly the whole day and she can barely take you out for treats and stuff like that, so frustrating right? And Wanli's mother is like often at home wan lar, according to her and oh well at tines I wished that my mum is at home more often too. Like today I dun get to see her when I go home, but never mind, since I can spend more time bathing, like half an hour?

okay i want to eat now, bye bye!! will continue soon!!

2009-05-14T06:48:00.000-07:00

Okay so first things first. Um today is another typical day I guess. Just know one thing for sure is that I am really really disappointed in my maths results because it was, to put it simply, below average and I MEAN IT!

ARGHHHH, hell and damnations! Bitch! Slut! Mud blood! Filth! Slum!
Okay sorry, I did not mean to be so vulgar but I really cannot help it. I mean, it is below average, and there are like twelve people out of three classes getting full marks and I did not even get 57, 58 or 59 URG!!!

So what can I say? "I am naturally stupid and mentally retarded?"

And yeah so stressed.

I know it sound stupid but I am emoing anyway...

Oh well let's talk about something nicer, like my cca training.

Today during cca, Jac Tan asked the coach if we can split up the training time among the two of us and the coach responded with a ‘huh’.

Oh that is because Jac will be having com soon and she needed training badly biut unlukily for her today the coach said since I had already wore the uniform, she let me train instead. Um, I feel kinda bad here...Hee hee... SO poor Jac hoppped around chanting,"I want to train! I want to train!" in chinese. It was quite a hilarious sight to behold!

And the training was like usual, the tiring time trial and then the firing of pellets. So during the time trial, I was extremely surprised to find myself feeling less loaded than usual, for usually I am the first to complain about the weight of the rifle. But today, I felt less of the stress, dunno why leh? Maybe coz I am metally disturbed for that period of time. And bfore training everyone reminded me to stop thinking about my maths and train properly or I will end up shooting another '1' down the centre of the card. And glad to say that today I shot better than usual although the hole was still very big (60 pellets, if I am not mistaken). And Cheryl's hole was half the size of mine. Sigh sigh sigh. Nvm luhs.

Oh and in the end we could not find the dumbbells and left the range happily to go and wash our stinking hands. It was really quite interesting to see each other fighting for the soap no matter how childish it is. And Yee Xien left before I did(boo hoo *sniff and sobs*) and in the end I went bus-stop with Wan Li.

I guess I dun really care who so long as I am not alone. Anyway, an added benefit of going with Wan Li is that you get someone to talk to while walking the rest of the way home, which is always kinda boring if you don't have someone to walk with. Oh yeah and she is really nice, given that she doesn't see any of her batchmates or seniors around. (Weird eh, coz, once she sees someone, she will start to behave erratically, but overall, she is nice.)

And I asked her some randomn stuff like if she like twilight and she said she was okay with it (haha, jiawen that makes you the oddball, no offence). And and and i told her I did badly for Humans and she asked if I understand. Nay, I can't get the head nor the tail of it. Oh yeah and I dun really bother to pay attention either so another downfall. But I will try harder...

(Oh did you realise that I love talking about the subjects that I did badly and not those that I do well in? Haha! No wonder many people think I am stupid, but I dun really care, I mean what's the point of self praise? And and and the coach sterotyped gep class by saying that i definitely won't go holidays somewhere else one, so pissing! PISH!)

And by the time I reach home I was like really dead beat so I washed up, had maggie mee with hot dogs for dinner. Went to sleep immediately after this.

Oh nightie night! Miss me okay?

2009-05-13T00:40:00.001-07:00

So oh well another day passed…
Big deal.
But then, did you actually consider the fact that our life is but made of many todays?
And each day is special, and they will seldom repeat itself, if not never. And think of this, no matter how bad today is, or no matter how good, it will never happen again, with the right attitude that is. And we don’t go around saying, “想当年，我还…” well no one that I know, apart from Hui Ting that is.

Fine, enough of this emoing, if I don’t stop talking about this, sooner or later you will hear the funeral march start playing.

And this is how my day went like…

Early in the morning, I came to school too early by accident and guess what time it was? 6.45a.m. Oh yeah and that was like no big deal, except that I feel super accomplished that I think I came to school earlier than somebody, haha, lame right?

Oh and the first lesson was like k, agreeable lar. Chinese mah, quite okay, but for me I like the teacher more than the subject so I try my best to pay attention, but sometimes, I am just too tired to.

Then next lesson was art, oh my goodness, how I detest that lesson, for I have no artistic talent to be spoken of.The whole art lesson we were trying to animate some kind of plasticine toys made by yours truly and well, effectively, it was all gooblebunk to me. To much use of technical terms is bad for your health okay??

And then recess(finally!) and I had my recess with my artmate from the class one oh one, so we talked about all those trivial stuff, and I just mmmed through the whole thing lor. Then since I got nothing to say,I asked the easiest question possible, "You know your seniors from 201?"

She thought for a while and nodded, "Some yeah."

" You know Zhiping or Xueying? "

" Xue Ying yup I know her, but no not Zhi Ping. Xue Ying is my friend's angel, my friend know who she is but she does not know that my friend know her."

What a tongue twister.

We had Lang Arts after that oh my, we watched A.I.(Artifiailly Intelligence) and I had watched it before. I must say that it is one of the best movie possible, like really touching yet with those high tech stuff, it is like really awesome. And the best part is the boy who was acting as David in A.I. has the same birthday date as me, 10th April and miraculously, he is older than me by 12 years, so he is a rat too(how insulting this sounds).

Research Skills was really very boring. I wished that I could still take FPS though, because like Lisa, I am an FPS kind of person. Like I really like it( not the lesson or the teacher, because since Mrs Amy seems to know only me, she enjy scaring me for nothing by going like YING YING! *shudder shudder*)

Oh yeah I nearly fell asleep,想当年...when I was P6 I never fell asleep in class before lor, and this year came and you will often see me dozing away...Gosh! How scandalous, and come to think of it, I am like really tired this year with all tyhe extra CCA going on.

And 想当年, I topped nearly all the subject lar and now what? Top only two subjects so far with a exceedingly low score, and got a second for LA LA LA...

Of all irrational stuff...

So here is how my BT went, never mind I don't feel like saying.

Then while I am trying hard not to SMS people, today I received 3 sms from seniors(hey I am not complaining, I LOVE people smsing me,'Ks?),first from jinny, asking me to get the sec one to go to her class to check our particulars; then from regine,asking me if I can buy her a drink( I did not see the message till recess was over so sorry); and lastly from Rachel Tan who states that she finally recognise me.(har har!! ikinda enjoy seniors not knowing me you know, like I know, Marilyn and she dun know me, and I know most of the seniors in 213 but sigh...none of them know me.)

Then I told Jiawen about the buying drink sms, and she said she now don't really wave to seniors le, just pretend you dunno them, which I went like good idea!

Had lunch with Jacko and Jiawen as usual, like I said, I like them the most. And I went into a fit of laughter because what they say was so funny (like watching opera you know?). And the silly conversation between the 3 of us was like that:

JW~Jacko," Why is she laughing like that(refering to me)?"

Jacko~JW,"Dunno why leh?"

Me~JW,Jacko,"Haha you can imagine like people eating watermelon and you tell them something shocking and all the watermelon came spurting out from the mouth and it resembles vomiting blood eh? Har har hilarious insight!"

JW~me," I find it gross and disturbing, far from funny."

Jacko~ me,"Man, if you do that(since i was eating watermelon), I will say eeew and run away and pretend that I dunno you."

I laugh harder.

Then the two began to compare whose bowl is cleaner and Jacko went like "mine obviously". And Jiawnen tried to make hers nicer too...

So long, I need to study for BIO ler, bye!!!!

I know you will miss me, dun deny it. ;)

So tired

2009-05-12T05:42:00.001-07:00

Wah today the visit to the History Museum was extremely tiring. Throughout the whole two hours of the museum visit, we were either standing up or walking around. And as the saying goes,"It never rains but it pours." So well early in the morning, I realised that my shoes had yet to dry and left with no other choice, I wor ethe one that pinched your toes badly. God, so well the whole day of walking around was not enough, with the additional feet pain, it kinda put me in a snappy mood.

Then to top it off, worse things happened.

Like I received another notice informing to go for emcee training in the June hols. and the period was like oh-my-gosh so loooong, from nine in the morning till five in the evening, even shooting is not that long lar.

Then during lunch got hydroponics stuffies, so Hui Ting, Yan Li and I ran through the rain into the green house which looked like it was about to be flooded. To make things worse, the place was humid and cold and gives me odd sensation that i was toasted and frozen at the same time. Later at the end of the session, the three of us chiong through the rain and lucky me, I managed to smash my arm against the steel lock of the door.

The bruise on my arm seared with indescipable pain and i hold it tight and kinda of closed my eyes, willing the pain to go away. So after a few unbearable minutes, the pain managed to dull into a slow throbbing pain that well ached when I moved my arm.

Like a charmeleon, the bruise changed colour, from blueblack to red and now pink with a tinge of black at the side where the metal thingy smashed in.

Ouch.

And by the time we finished the hydroponics sesson, we were totally wet through. Jiawen moaned about her shoes being squishy wet (yuk), and comtemplated buying another pair of socks. As for me, my shoes were okay lucky me, I was wearing my PE so just need to change out of the soaking wet shirt. So while Jiawen went shopping for socks, Jacko Phunk and I went to buy some food (gosh! I was starving!), and like I said, Jacko and Jiawen are the best friend that I have had so far. Jacko is really caring and funny while Jiawen well to put it simply, she rocks, like a bright little ray of sunshine you know?

The rain is making me feel upset, coz i hate the gloom. But the cold is a welcoming change from the gross heat of the afternoon sun.

I am still debating with myself if I should go training tomorrow, I mean as a make-up, since i never go today becoz of the wonderful history museum visit.

Wonderful, indeed.

You know I am kinda surprised that I managed to stay awake at all.

Like I said, exceedingly wonderful.

Then when the whole trip finally ended, I was ready to collapse with fatigue ( and from the pain iin my feet). Then trying my best to ignore the pain, I chiong the rest of the way to catch Jiawen and Yee Xien and my wonderful(i mean it this time) batchmates that just came out from the shooting range. Yar sothe rest was passable, I guess.

Met Sophia on the bus and I thought that she looked kinda pissed. As usual i dunno why.

Oh Hiliary replied my tag just now and I feel kinda like she is nice.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ying

Check this out!!

2009-05-11T05:48:00.000-07:00

AWESOME PICTURES!!!!Thank you http://abduzeedo.com/beautiful-3d-futuristic-scenes

2009-05-10T20:25:00.000-07:00

Hi I am back. Feeling so emo lor.

Yesterday watched three movies in a row and feel super tired and guilty lar. Because basically, I am such a slacker among the extremely hardworking people of one-thirteen and my goodness, you can feel rotten at times, 100% guarantee. And and and i am not saying that i am not hardworking, it is just that like i am half as hardworking as the thirteenth people.

Purlease!!!

When i was in Keming and Nanhua (and the flashbeck started), I was like one of the most hardworking people you have ever seen lar.I myself feel that i was the only one that paid attention to all the boring lessons, shaking my head every now and then in a vain attempt not to fall asleep(i once proposed to the teacher that she should dress up like a clown when she was teaching too prevent us from dozing off and i got one whole week's detention.)

And sigh oh sigh...

Now in nanyang, you see everyone taking down note or firing questions at the teacher, even though the lesson is so boring that for me, falling asleep in ten seconds is no big deal. (Come to think of it, Rebecca fell asleep three times in the same day, but well she is one of a kind.)For me i just doodle away on my notebook, half listening half daydreaming(about twilight)...

And my goodness the people in my class are weird! If you dun pay attention in class, they glare at you and says," I wish you will pay attention in class instead of doodling away or sleeping."

And if you do pay attetion in class, (for me it is in Bio class, when i become so enthu), they go like," Can you dun be so enthu? Just keep quiet okay?"

WHAT THE HECK?

And at times they speak to me like can you dun fall asleep in class? Sigh...It is not something within my control.

Even when you are paying attention, but you dun do it in the same way, they will have a problem with it.

And the main thing here is, they expect you to function the same way as they do.

It is not that i am not grateful when they ask me to pay attention.

LIke remember the art video, they kinda smashed you up if you dun function in the same way: that is to pay attenton but not attract attention.

The first sign of advancement towards robotic signals.

Sigh i just dun understand.

Wan Xin!

This is especially for you, did you remember that few nanhuanians paid attention during classes, and we were often fooling around? Remember the paper ball fight that got me one week's detention? Remember me throwing that lump of plasticine at Kyle Lin's face and I was scolded by Maria Low?But in the end she did not dish out any punishments afterall. Did you remember the silly creation of Dumbledore's Army, which like half the class was in the club and we wrote crap in a book and passed it around in class?

Boy, how i wished i could have those times back.

True that PSLE was indeed stressful, but admist all the stress, there was joy.

Unlike the times now...

2009-05-09T20:21:00.001-07:00

Back to rifling!!!

2009-05-09T01:24:00.000-07:00

Oh Yes Oh yes!!!
Hi five!
Thank God!
Holy Jesus!
Merlin's pant!

I am back to rifle!!!! *standing ovation*

The coach is not pleased 'bout it though and i must add that she is the weirdest coach i have ever come across...

And the story went like this...

On friday(not the 13th), i went down for my training after a nourishing meal of fried bee hoon (yuk).Well so i kinda asked her hopefully asked what i will be training on that day. She promptly tell me,"Pistol!"

Pish! Posh! Pash!

What can i do about it??

And the tiring training started. It was even more tiring and boring than i expected it to be.

(and i am never going to complain about rifling again)

So halfway through the coach might have sensed my unspoken complaints for she came over and asked,"How do you feel?"

I meant to say,"Rotten." but since i duu=nno what rotten is called in chinese, so i cannot,with much regrets.

So i told her," I prefer rifle."

And she started giving me a lecture on the importance of training your strength and how it will let you benefit in both pistol and rifle, how you wimpy-little-no-muscle-like-your-seniors-sec-ones need to improve on your strength, yada yada yada...And her list of benefits never seems to end.

Benefits, indeed.

By then nearly everyone have stopped to listen to the thousand and one benefits of lifting dumbells,hey presto, the coach was so engaged that she fails to notice.

Then when she finally ended with her dramatic monologue,everyone's head snapped back to train.(what a resounding snap, i am as crazy as jiawen is rite now.)

I nearly fell asleep. I think i rather listen to the one thousand and one functions of toadstools and the different kinds of government states available.(does it concern me what kind of government there are? I never want to be a government or a lady with a peacock feather in her hair, dude.)

When she did realised that all's attention is focused on her, she said the oddest thinf possible,which is,"Ying Ying, you better go change into your rifle suit(or something lky that, i can never understand she and her weird terms), YOU are distracting them."

Huh? I am distracting them?

Hey, correct me if i am wrong, but i hardly even talked that day okay? How do i distract the people if i am not talking,not singing, not gestulating(whatchamacallit?).

Puuuurlease...

So well i changed back to rifle an dhere comes the bad news...

When i changed to rifle section, the riflers just finished their break, AND the pistolists just started on theirs.

Hey, How about me? Next door neighbour?

Naw, you dun get any.

Oh yar, so i thought of jiawen's funny imitation of regine and i feel like laughing. It goes sommat like this:

Regine,"You rifle or pistol? I mean now?"

Jiawen," I dunnoe. Maybe rifle maybe pistol, maybe both. Same applies to Ying Ying, i guess."

Regine,"hahahahaha*..(high pitched laughter, according to jiawen), you are another wanli... hahahahaha*!!!!"

!!!????!!!!!!!??!! HUH?

I want to go youtube for twilight stuff now, boiboi!!

Pistol Vs Rifle

2009-05-07T21:33:00.000-07:00

I must be crazy.
Absolutely nuts.
One hundred and one percent out of my mind.
And no doubts retarded.

No offense pistolists(esp.Wan Hui and Regine, i know you all are sensitive to this kinda stuff)but pistoling is definitely not my cup of tea.

I dunno why i am saying all this but i know for sure that i am kinda numb with shock because i am typing exceptionally slowly.

And the story went like this...

Once upon a time...(well lame so i give up)...

Alright, yesterday jiawen and i had discus com at three thirth so we tell the coach we had to leave at 2.50 ( considering the fact that jiawen, jacko and i were crawling cross the overhead bridge.)to et to Hwa Chong.And well the moment the coach saw jiawen(i was happily chewing away at my bee hoonthe )she asked if i was around(why would i not be?) And a while later she came out of the general office with the ring of keys,(kinda reminds me of the show .)she told me that she still lack one whatchamacallit?....Pistol child?...pistol Kid?...Or yar well simply it means shou qiang hai ziin mandrain (what does it gotta do with me?

Then she said,"So do you want to try out pistol?"

I thought trying meant trying NOT training.

I shrugged,"Yar why not?"

She smiled, "Great! Now during the compeition i have three pistolists!!!"

WHAT THE HECK?????????????????????????

I nearly choked on my food and started gagging(oh fine i did not, it is exeggerated but if i had been eating, i will bet cha a hundred pounds that i will choke and die of respiratory air way jam....)

"What? You want me to go com as a pistolist?" i squeaked, and spitting out the word pistolist(oh fine, exeggerated again, because i lost my breathe over the word 'pistolist', but there is no fun in blogging with no exeggarations...) so well well!!!!

And that day i did pistol,and goodness me pistol is so sian amd boring (no offence rachel, but i am tooo blunt, and i admire you for pistoling :).And later jiawen and i left for the discus sports meet, i did badly oh gosh!!!

And then, the whole gang of us meaning me, li houng, jiawen, Jacko, shannise, xinzhi were walking around under the blistering sun when we walked past this football like field and saw Samuel Lee,so i who had a bad memory, asked shannise," is that samuel lee?"

It was either my voice was too loud, or the place was too quiet or samuel's hearing is too sharp, he kinda spun around and looked at us. Shannise and i pretended we never see him, (so he kinda told us that he was eh? big deal!). Then li houng stopped walking in front of us and we were kinda stuck on that narrow ledge. At that moment eugene(is this how you spell it? i having spelling his name wrong ever since P5, so it went like what? Eeguene instead. maybe euglena. Gross is the rite word.But well who goes around writing his name on the journal everyday? No one i know of, maybe except huiting and the seventeens. No offence mate.)

Then when he turned, shannise kinda shouted, "Run!! Danger!"(fine! exeggerated) And the poor girls who did not even know what was happening started running.and when we finally sat down and rested and explained to jiawen esp. everything, we were out of breathe and panting.

To our horror, the freaky gang was approaching us(i think they were heading for the water cooler or the seventeens).

Jiawen asked for their names and started chanting EP (his full name is too much of a mouthful).Shannise and i went like shhhhhhhh.....shuttup.

Then when the sweatballs sauntered past us trying to act cool, jiawen randomly pointed at one of them and yelled,

"Are you Samuel Lee??"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!OMG WHAT IS SHE DOING???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The guys loooked at her as though they were looking at an alien(if they want to see one, they should really go look at the mirror) and...

They ran away!!!!!!!!!HAHA

The chickens!! they were freaked out by jia wen by her guts, becoz girls dun usually called out to them.( they look like hebrew hemophrodite-um how do u spell it again?)

A round of appplause for Jia Wen!!!! *CLAP CLAP CLAP*

lols mum coming, logging off to study bio now,haha the five phases of the cell's life rox!!!!!!!!!

INTERPHASE, PROPHASE,METAPHASE, ANAPHASE , TELOPHASE

they are not in order.........

Tommorow Urgh!!!

2009-05-06T01:42:00.000-07:00

Hi all, today is such a tiring day...During Mo training, the teacher taught us how to count the number of squares present in a big square yada yada yada...And me the fillet-o-fish brain asked te teacher on impulse ,"Who is the boliao person who thought of counting the squares?"

The teacher replied,"No Idea..."

Shuning,"Good question!"

I asked again,"So what is the purpose of counting the squares?"

The teacher shrugged,"For recreation, i guess."

I asked another one,"Why don't they count stars instead? Anyway the square counting is driving me nuts."

Yar well so i wonder who is the dumbo who thought of counting squares as recreation...Wuliao rite??? I rather take a afternoon nap...

Later on, my fren and i were discussing about the NAPHA run and omigosh i am so going to fail no doubt!!! HAHHA i can only run 2 rounds around the super HUGE track woman and yar well i am dead. Dead meat.

In the morning rite, i went to jia wen's class to blog since our class com is hogged as usual.Lols and Jia Wen came up with the impromptu poem:

Love poems are so gay,
Hey Hey Hey!
Well not exactly a poem lar, but it is just as crazy as jiawen is... Haha but she and Jacklynn Chong are the best mates i have had so far :)becoz they are sweet kind caring and nice and um um friendly yes they are!!!

Tommorrow got the discus compeition going to die leh... I am going to let my class down for sure the and all the training is going down the drain!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh well over reaction hahas,never mind luhs. (Wa! sound a bit like dear regine here.)

And yes today while going to the toilet, i was thinking about the chinese culture test and thought that someone on my extreme left looked familiar. Then before i could turn to see who i passed by Jiawen's class and like the usual routine i turned to see if she was in.(or she or Jacko Phunk will shout YING YING!!!out of the window and gimme a heart attack.)Then after half a minute then i remember about the familiar looking person and turned around to see who....GUESS WHO...

ONG WAN LI!!!!!

who is that?

Haha no one in peculiar just a senior from shooting and my so weird neighbour.Haha no offense,wanli, but you never check blogs anyways... And and and you won't know my URL,well i was kinda rude to do that if you dunno what really happened eh??? Quote Regine,

"Tsk Tsk.Don't be rude to your seniors ah, k?"

Righteo senor regine.

And and i dun like...NVM...sigh that is too private to be said..

That is all for now,til i got time that's goodbye!!!!

Totally screwed up SHOOTING!!!!!!!!!!

2009-05-05T04:12:00.001-07:00

Oh my god, today during shooting i was like training so hard dia. And now we riflers don't even have break any more...And as usually after the TIME-TRIAL training session the coach gave us fifty pellets eacha nd told us to fire when we were ready. And i was like," i will fire later sia because i want to make the necessary preparations first." And then later like maybe fifteen minutes later i started shooting and that was where the trouble started.The first shot was far too low like not in the centre lar, so i told myself never mind lar i try again, and guess what? The second shot went too high.(Not high until like siao lar of course but i never shot so badly before.)So i was like Oh my Gosh and started any how firing liao.So in the end the forever crazy me got the notion of shooting the card into half( and mind you i was close to success).Then i was UNhappily firing away when the coach came behind me and said, fire more slowly, take your time because my shots were like one line in the centre instead of the usual one clump,so she thought i shoot too fast leh.

Then she keep on standing behind me while i continued shooting that crazy line and she motioned me to stop and she did something to me....

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SHE FELT MY PULSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my heavens, she thought that i was suffering from a panic attack or something and tried to see if my heart rate is too fast or too slow, coz if it is too slow it will be a sign that i was going into shock.Then she looked at me like she wanted to ask me i was feeling well, but then she did not say anything. She used my rifle and shot one pellet to see if the rifle got problem. i felt very guilty then.

Then afterwards she told me to aim well before i shot and i went like okay then well try to shoot lar but then with her behind me all my shots naturally went hay-wired.

In the end, she took back that awefully shot card and placed a new one in lor. With the black part facing me lar (not the blank part) and she told me to aim and shoot. So i reshoot again and before i finished shooting she took away my pellets and Jaclyn's pellets and told us that we are too slow and now she need to return the key liao. Jaclyn and I groaned. I feel very shibai.

Later all the sec ones were taking off our unifornm and complaining about how much their hands stink, alll of thenm asked me this,"Ying Ying just now how come i saw your shots were like one line one huh? I thought normally you shoot quite okay the mah.Then today why your shots so siao siao one??" Well so i related what happened lar and Yee Xien said that she though my rifle got problem the.

Then the coach tell me like,"you know you need to focus a not? i look at you and i keep getting the feeling that you are not as focused as the others."

Do you know the saying: looks can be deceiving??

Please lar i am the most focused during shooting hor,the other lessons i either fall asleep or dun pay attention one lor, with the exception of science of course. I feel extremely disgusted with myself.

Then at the end of training they all told me "you say, you say." in chinese and i asked like say what then after a long time i still said nothing and poor Jia Wen shouted "起立，行礼 " . i then noticed what they were trying to get me to say. LOls.... But thanks for asking me any way, you mke me feel happy...
The coach was like how many yingyings are there, and jia wen said that she was me too....

Anyways i am really tired...But still wanna blog *grin sheepishly*

Oh yes today got the hydroponics thingy and it was quite fun de hahas...We grew kang kong...the long gang plant..

i must shoot better on thursday...

教练，对不起，今天表现不够理想，我下一次一定会好的。

For My Junior Rachel, Hwee Si ;)

2009-05-04T04:16:00.000-07:00

For Rachel, my dear junior (The one who is not Wu, Wang, Tan or Ng)
Study hard for your PSLE okay?? I know that PSLE is extremely stressful but it is period of time that we all have to go through( regardless of the gender, smilez). Anyway, just do not be distracted so easily, and focus fully on getting into Nanyang Sec OK?? You can do it, I know that you can!!! I will always be there for you if you need me, giving you the moral support that you will need. Trust me after these bitter hard work, the sweet days will come!! After PSLE, the whole world is in your hands, remember what I said in my phone call to you?? Bear that in mind ok?? You are a girl with high potential and you can do well if you try hard enough. I have the absolute 100% confidence in you, dun disappoint me, Ok?? Do your best and regardless of what your result will be, you will still be my favourite junior!! CHEERS !!!!! xD Smilez  

love ying ying

2009-04-30T08:37:00.000-07:00

Can you ever feel so disoriented, annoyed and pissed and hurt as I do right now in your life? I doubt that you can… Sometimes you put the trust in someone, and the person betrayed your trust. And sometimes you thought that the person is a friend and only to find out that she/he had been using you all along… Sometimes, we treasure someone /something too much and when we lost it, the pain is far too much to bear… Sometimes, should we treat everyone we meet in our life as mere passers-by, with no significance at all? Or should we love them, as a friend and treasure them, in the end only to find that they had never treated you the same way that you had treated them? You left your heart with them, thinking that it will be safe, but only to find it broken, torn and ripped.

Trying to recover … from the pain…

2009-04-29T01:29:00.000-07:00

Okay Okay another stolen image from People's blog, and this time it happens to be
r3gin3...Hope you dun mind anyway...:) :D oh ya when are the *cough cough**clear throat* hardworking seniors coming back for training??( you are having more break than us dude:S)

Quiz and Questions!!!!

2009-04-28T21:34:00.000-07:00

QUIZ

Answer the following questions and stand a chance to win..... *Drum Roll* a bottle of ice lemon tea.^^"

1) Who is the person that will break your heart the most?

2) What does O.W.L. stands for in shooting, ( not in harry potter where it stands for Ordinary Wizarding Level? (sec twos, you all should know...>-<)

3)Why did we start talking during shooting?

4)why must you not tell the peanut butter your secret??( if you got pay attention to my blog, you will know:D)

andandand, umumum i forgot what i wanna say...
Oh yes!I finally finished my CL block test!!! ( a round of applause!!)
But I think I will fail or something...

YesYesyes i am so emo at certain times!!!

never mind luhs just try the quiz...UMUMUM jia wen will pay for the drink i guess? (MUAHAHA, just joking!!)

2009-04-25T04:57:00.000-07:00

I feel kinda derranged today...

For all those who cared about the big fat plaster on my face, thank you for caring:D.
I am pleased to say that I am healing steadily and the doctor at Gleneagles suggests that I dun wear the plaster CHEERS!!( I have had enough weird looks from my school mates dude, they look at me as though I have grown an extra head or sommat.)

And thank you to those that gave me birthday presents thank you!! (and boo to those who did not...Okay joking lah.)

Oh Yah yah before I forget (drunm roll)Yeterday (24 april) was Leon's birthday!! Happy Birthday!! JY for library, But no offense Library sux... well...what can i say, I was from library last time too dude.It is so sian and lame lor.

Quotes!!

Jia Wen," that is so disturbing..."
" That is so scandlising..."
"I will pretend that i never hear that..."

Li Shuen,"Why can you not tell the peanut butter a secret?"
"Because it will spread it around..."

Ying Ying," Throw a convulsion, a fit, have a cardiac arrest...."

Amy Ong," So Zi Lian..."

Wan Hui,"so disturbing..."

Regine,"Lols, never mind luhs..."

Huiting," Siao, so sian, dammit, (all the profanities)...."

2009-04-20T07:03:00.000-07:00

Argh tomorrow might have to go for operation the first time i am feeling so scared in my whole life till now!!!Yell Scream shout so fearful of dying in the operation theatre!!! I fear so much that i can hardly breathe god please help me get through this irrational fear>...Help oh help...what am i gonna do??
Oh God I dun really know what to do apart from thinking about the surgery or operation that I MIGHT have to go through tomorrow. This is so unnerving and urgh …indescribable…Oh I really need to calm down dude, the fear ‘tis killin’ me man give me some space to breathe…
SCREAM SHOUT YELL I NEED SOMEONE WHOM I CAN TRUST~! LOLZ

2009-04-17T22:57:00.000-07:00

Yikes thanks to the block test I have not gone for shopping like three weeks and today i am finally going MUHAHAHA! (getting deranged)Normally i go for shopping two times a week... yikes urg!!

Here is a wonderful poem:

Stay with me, God.The night is dark,
The night is cold:my little spark
Of courage dies.The night is long;
Be with me God, and make me strong.

I love a game.I love a fight.
I hate the dark, I love the light.
I love my child, I love my wife.
I am no coward, I love Life.

Life with its change of mood and shade.
I want to live, I am not afraid,
But me and mine are hard to part,
Oh, unknown God, lift up my heart.

You stilled the water at the Dunkirk
And saved Your Servants.All your work
Is wonderful, dear God,you strode
Before us down that dreadful road,

We were alone, and Hope has fled;
We loved our country and our dead,
And could not shame them so we stayed
The course, and were not much afraid.

Dear God, the nightmare road! And then
The sea! We got there- we were men.
My eyes were blind, my feet were torn,
My soul sang like a bird at dawn!

I know that Death is but a Door,
I know what we were fighting for:
Peace for the kids,our brothers freed;
A kinder world, a cleaner breed.

I am but the man my mother bore,
A simple man nothing more,
But God of strength-and gentleness,
Be pleased to make me nothing less.

Help me, Oh God, when death is near,
To mock the haggard face of Fear,
That when I fall- if fall I must,
May my soul truimph in the dust.

Written by: anonymous during wartime